Shielded.

Chapter 9

Okay so I fixed the ending to the last chapter because it just didn't feel right. So check that out so you aren't confused about this one. (:

Brian laughs. "I'm only nice to pretty girls."

I can feel the blood rushing to my face.

"Thanks." I say.

"Hey wanna do drugs or something? I'm getting bored." Brian asks.

"Uh." I ponder. I did tell myself that I wanted to be everything I was told not to be.

"Yeah. Sure."

"Yeah? That's a surprise. I figured you'd say no and throw out some wise reason why you shouldn't."

I only smile at that, because I know he's right and I know what I normally would say, "Drugs are a waste of time."

"Here's this." He hands me a yellow circular pill, and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Jack likes to bite back." He winks.

I scarf down the pill and a few sips of Daniels, and then retreat to the couch. It's stained with probably every body fluid imaginable, and smells strongly of sex, booze and cat piss.

We're all socializing, people are joking and I talk to people I normally wouldn't. People I don't know. And I laugh out loud with them. Taking more swigs of the bottle of Jack Daniels being passed around. Never minding the saliva of the paid hookers (or maybe roadies? They dress like hookers so who knows, honestly.) I'm drinking.

I stand up.

Fuck.

I'm dizzy headed and I feel so sleepy and dazed. Brian stands up with me.

I try to walk to the kitchen, but I meet floor. Hard. And cold.

Brian jolts over to me "Are you okay?" He helps me up.

I nod.

"I want to lay down." I say.

"Okay, let me help you."

He helps me walk to the bedroom and gently sets me down.

He sits next to me.

"You know, I think you're a really intelligent person." I say to Brian.

"You're gonna go places, with your band, you all will I know tha-"

I'm interrupted by Madonna Wayne Gacy barging into the room.

"There's more cocaine. C'mon."

Brian gets up to walk away, but I stop him.

"I want some." I demand.

"Charlie, I don't think-"

"No. I want it."

Chopping and scraping noises happen on the living room table as I watch Brian assort a small line for me. I pick up the straw, look at Brian, and take one long sniff up one nostril.

Shit. Goddammit.

"Fuck. That hurts."

"I know." Brian sniffs, tilting his head back.

"I'm gonna go lay down. I feel weird."

"That's just the drugs working, baby." Madonna Wayne Gacy says.

"Yeah." I shrug.

My head feels like it's oozing. It feels like my brains are spewing out of my ears.

"Am I supposed to feel this way?" I ask. I didn't know I said it out loud, but I was answered by a very high and sleep deprived Brian.

"I guess. Hey Charlie?"

"Hmm?"

"I think..."

"What?"

I can't hear anything. Just a white noise. A loud ringing. My head hurts. I can feel my body moving, but what am I doing?

What the fuck is happening right now?

Someone help.

I think I'm shouting but can anyone hear me? I feel pain and pleasure and I feel like I'm not me.

Help me, somebody please.