By Far A Misconception

Eyes And Ears Pt2

When I moved back in with my mom, I when to school every day and played soccer and I thought I had friends. It started with soccer, I would get bullied on the team and people would push me around till I cried and the coach had to keep me separated from everyone else. We tried a lot of different Ideas that never seemed to work. So when I was 12 I quit soccer because that year a lot of things happened. (2012) My family said I was doing worse every year because I was too slow and getting fat. I couldn't mentally handle getting messed with at home, soccer, and school. I had lost one of the only things I help dear to me in my life, and that's when my depression and anxiety came out. I didn't think much of it at the time. But when the bullying in school got worse, I had nothing to cry on and love me like I once did. I became attached to the people at my school that tormented me. I always came back to them after they hurt me. I knew they were just going to do it again, but I believed they might change if I'm nice enough. In 7th grade the bullying got worse and it lead to me finding how to deal with the pain, it was from a pink plastic razor, I know that's how it always seems in every story, the girl always falls back to the cheesey pink plastic razor. But that's how it happened. The first time I cut, I had a panic attack and I told my brother what happened, My mom didn't find out till the next day. The school put me in a student assistance program (sap), but that just made it worse. The following year I had my first relationship with a guy who played me, he was my first kiss and he left me because three months in I didn't want to have sex. But when we were together he was with another girl and had sex with her multiple times and still said he loved me, which lead to cutting more. I met some people who I had things in common with and we were friend for that year until they left me and never talked again. Now two years later we talk occasionally but it isn't the same. At the end of 8th grade I met a guy that was a year older than me and he was my first love. He wrote me letters every time we were apart. But then three months later he broke my heart in front of my house on the way to school. He left me for another girl, but he said it was because he was moving over the summer and he didn't want things to get serious. And that led to more depression and more anxiety. In August I had enough of my life and I attempted suicide which lead to a deep cut across my arm and me fainting. When I went back to school everyone touched it and it made me sad and feel alone.