I'm not one for sadness ..
I'm not the one who says they are hurt ..But I am
Guys use me to vent to , use me for the way my moans make them feel over the phone .. They aren't ever real with me , just very good actors in the art of breaking hearts
I'm not the girl they write songs about , I'm not the girl they dream about .. Not the girl they paint or even the one they screenshot & lowkey pray to god they had me ..
I'm just the girl they pretend to be interested in for the moment
Use my brain to pick and my soul to toil with .. It hurts , my greatest assets are abused
And I allow it , It's my fault
I know..
I'm tired but sleep isn't what I need , I'm so done that relationships aren't even interesting to me , men don't amuse me anymore , I don't think about sex and ...at this point I don't get wet
Maybe in my past life I was a player , on the other end of the stick ..I was birth from a woman whose name is karma , I guess that why karma's a bitch
Sometimes I take deep breathes and just sit in my room , no music ,no lights ,just me & my thoughts ..
What about me ? Where is my sorry ?
Where is the "hey I love you "
Where is the "I messed up and I need you "
Where is my "you're beautiful "
Instead I'm writing , painting , and making music .. It's just burning in me to say this & since the eardrums of others never seem to be found near my mouth
I have to write this and Ode to my heart , the layer of membrane that protects the soul .. Bruised and tainted yes
But I'm strong & one day I'll look back on this and laugh at the tear stains between each sentence .
I'm more than what I'm treated like , and I'm sorry I just had to get it off my chest , no more bags upon my travel .. And no I don't need a man
It's just sad how the ones who say they would do me good .. Seem to change and do me worst than the boy before.
So ..ode to my heart , mhmmm
Turned my broken heart into Art
