Lionheart

Chapter 13

                 The living room is dark save for the television playing an action flick Nick had been roped into watching with Lisa. Together they chew mindlessly on the meal Nick himself prepared: burgers. One of the enemy spies has been intercepted by a new character when Lisa takes a thoughtful sip of her ice cold beer and regards Nick with an innocent, "So this Seth kid is nice. When did you meet him?"

Nick watches the spy spray his neck blood all over the new character. There it is, he thinks. He really shouldn't have let his guard down. Lisa and Seth's earlier conversation was (by all hypothetical outsider accounts) nothing of import; in any normal circumstance, it should have been perfectly mundane. But this was Seth and because everything about Seth is just Seth, Nick is inclined to care. Sometimes he feels like an animal around the other boy. For all that Nick tries to be his toughest and most unflappable self, he feels like prey on the run. And Seth is supposed to be harmless, but walking into him in the halls never fails to make Nick imagine what it might feel like to walk in a field of landmines.

"Dunno," he tries to answer, but Lisa nudges his leg with hers on their coffee table.

"Come on," she chastises him. "You never really tell me about school. I don't just want to know about your grades, Nick."

It's not like Nick doesn't want to tell his mother about—no, actually, he doesn't want her to know—but it's really more like he doesn't have anything worth telling. If he decides to tell his mother all of this, he'd probably have hell for it. Nick loves Lisa, but sometimes his mother loves him too much that it ends up being weird most of the time. He prefers to be the one showing the affection, however scarce that may be (Lisa believes it's more than enough especially because Nick Saunders is her son).

"There's really nothing to talk about..." he tells her anyway. At this point, his mind is unable to properly digest the fact that the main character has been repeatedly stabbed within inches of his life and how is this asshole going to get out of this now? But it feels like pandemonium at the back of his mind where he's mumbling things like, "Seth first approached me a couple of months ago I think?", "Seth Hammonds is infatuated with me." and, "...Or the idea of me." And," Mallory is a demon."

But is he going to spill his guts out to his mother? Hell no. Nick often considers whining about Mallory, but he's forgotten the last time he's ever whined to anyone but himself... mentally.

"You don't have friends, Nick... I'm worried. And it's not like you get into any trouble these days. The last time you punched someone in the face was... two years ago, I think."

One and a half, actually. "And I told you it's not a problem." Nick tries to ignore the "maternal pouty face" Lisa is giving him. But with her sitting on her side and silently begging for eye contact, it is becoming increasingly impossible to keep his eyes on the bright screen without being disrespectful. He supposes it's enough to swing his eyes in her direction to observe that yes, she is indeed using the "maternal pouty face" on him. It won't be long until she uses her Mom Voice.

"Tell me that you're at least getting along with him. You're not being mean, are you?"

Like the traitor it is, Nick's mind works its magic and guilt trips him into silence.

"Oh, Nick... If you're so averse to changes like this, I don't know what's going to happen to you. You can't always think that being friendless is a burden. Your ass is going to get bitten in the end." There it is. Lisa Saunders has begun using the Mom Voice. And if Nick doesn't rectify the situation, she's never going to stop chastising him. There's little enough excitement in Nick's life that he causes very minimal disappointments, so because his single mother absolutely loves being a single mother, she relishes the feeling of having to teach her son about life. Nick appreciates it... just not right now.

"Yeah... I'm just..." Nick frowns at his half-eaten burger. He made his too big.

Lisa waits for Nick patiently, and he mentally thanks her for it. Eloquence has never been Nick's strong suit; he's never bothered articulating himself while basing his words off pure emotion. Logic is usually his means to an end, and it's never served him terribly until now. Damn his moods were shit.

The movie's deuteragonist rains holy fire on the man who stabbed and killed his best friend, the protagonist, who thankfully stays dead. "Sorry, Ma. I don't know," he confesses.

Lisa kisses him on the cheek, but Nick is unable to give her a smile for it. He's frustrated and can't even place why; it's a surprise he feels more tired than violent. "You don't have to apologize. It's okay if you're comfortable."

Nick slowly nods.

A/N: There's really something weird about the pacing of Lionheart, but that's really my thing. Doing otherwise makes me feel like I'm disappointing Nick who I sometimes consult when I need someone to help me get my shit together lol.

Fun fact: When I'm writing Nick's P.O.V. I listen to cute and girly Korean girl groups and only cute and girly Korean girl groups. I'll link my favorite playlist because I think it's funny.

I tried listening to Hyuna while writing Nick's P.O.V. but just couldn't take myself seriously. Hhahahahah try reading the previous Nick chapters while listening to Hyuna's Roll Deep. I'm dyi ng.