Lightwood Brothers Guide To Everything

The Lightwood Brothers Guide to School

Hello once again young Lightwoods

I'm Gideon!

And I'm Gabriel

I just realised something sister

Are we still doing this?

Doing what?

You still call me sister

I am just stating what I take you as

That is highly offensive!

I hardly find it offensive, woman are brilliant!

I'm a straight cis male Gideon, of course I find it offensive

Yes, but...

Moving on, what have you realised

Both our names begin with the letter 'G'

...

Isn't it brilliant!

You really are quite slow aren't you

What do you mean?

And that's two times you've said 'brilliant' so far this chapter, and we haven't even hit 100 words yet

Now we have!

I think we should introduce the topic of this chapter now brother

And what might that be?

Today young Lightwoods, we shall be educating you on how to survive school

Now, we have only stalked a handful of 21st centry children attending school, so our finding might not be entirely accurate

Was it necessary to admit that?

Completely!

Anyway, one thing we've learned about school students is that they tend to ignore everything the teachers say

So we highly recommend you do just that

Also, they always do their 'homework', as they call it, not at home, and instead copy from other students five minutes before the lesson begins, which makes no sense to be honest. It's called 'Home'work, but I suppose that was just the teachers being sarcastic

Anyway, since this seems to be norm, I suggest following our stalkie's lead

Stalkie? Really Gideon?

I thought that's what it was called

No brother, just no

Sister

You are a nuisance!

Moving on, we have learned that this process of leaving everything to the last minute is called procrastinating, and is a popular ritual in modern sociaty

We believe it helps children better enjoy their lives, but we're not entirley sure how causing yourself extra stress is at all helpfull

We were also informed that Crystal_Wolf358 is currently engaging in this ritual, and putting off both her art and physics homework which she tells us she does not intend to do anytime soon

Once again, we say, we do not understand this, but since Crystal_Wolf358 does it it's probably not a good idea since she is such an intellectually undeveloped, incompetent human child, who doesn't even have a regular sleep pattern or any social skills