Her insecure self

chapter 1

Everyone feels insecure right ? I do, ive always been the geeky kid who hung out with the freaks. What mean by that is 50% of my primary life I hung out with the outcasts because I fit in with anyone else .

Anyway enough of that let me tell you about why i feel so insecure , you probably won't care but I'll tell you anyway.I'm not exactly what you would call normal. Im a mega fangirl over youtube (thatcherjoe) which no one really understands in my school. I'm ginger and constantly reminded but that doesn't bother me too much. I'm i'm boring and I only really have one true friend in my school and he's the best i could ever ask for !

Most of my life I've been alone. I grew up in a small family consisting of my mum ,dad , little sister and me. My mum and I argue a lot , mainly about school and how unpopular I am , my mums a fan of materialistic things and doesn't understand what it's like to be me. My dads too busy at work to pay attention to me or my sister and with my mum constantly shopping I'm left to do most at home , I'm used to it now though so it's not entirely bad I suppose.

I first started self harming when I was 13. I know it's bad but I just can't stop, it's become a kind of addiction. I first started because of my insecurities , I would get so welled up and emotional at night that it would always lead to me harming. Again and again and again. My parents found out one time and my mum just gave me a speech about how it would make her look. Her look , how motherly of her . It didn't surprise me , actually , I expected worse but that's my mother for you. I know she's a delight.

I try to hide my cuts as much as I can by wearing long shirts, jeans and jumpers but sometimes people see them. Kian was first to see them , my best friend, he went mad at me and made me swear never to do it again , but I did.
A/N
I am not in any way promoting self harm in this story. Please if you ever feel like doing it reach out to someone and Remember how amazing you are, you're worth so much more !!
G xx