Random writing

Him

(Diary Entry)
Its 1:00 am and I can't fall asleep. Not with him on my mind. He'll never hear me say it but I miss him and I love him. He was my everything. I realize now that I wasn't his. He had so many good things going for him, but I never saw them. Not until now. He had all those things when all I had was him. I guess thats why I don't have him anymore. I don't have him because he had so much that he couldn't see the one thing that could have made him the happiest. Me. At least thats my opinion. We aren't together because thats what he chose. He chose to drift from me. He got on that boat, sailed away, and broke my heart with every day that passed when he didn't call or text. He left me to pick up my pieces on my own. So thats what I did. I did myself a favor, and mended my own broken heart. But there will always be pieces that are missing, pieces he stole from me. He comes around time and time again with the shreds of my heart in his hands. But every time he comes, he eventually leaves. When he leaves, he throws the piece of my heart, in which he carried, and stomps on them. He takes the shattered piece with him though, so I can't have it. So I can't heal fully.

All my life I've found someone, loved them with all my heart, and then got hurt. I'm not just talking about boys, I'm talking about friends, too. I get really close to someone, and then they realize that I'm not enough for them. Or someone else has something better to offer, then they leave. It sucks. I'm never what anyone wants or is satisfied with. They always need more. But why? Whats so wrong with me that they don't see how much I can give them? When I love someone, I really love. I give it my all, but that effort is never returned my way. Not until Her, anyways. My best friend. She is the only person to give me back and equal amout of effort and love. She makes me forget to mourn my broken friendship with him.

But when I'm not with her, I'm left with my own thoughts. They always lead back to him. The one who stole the bottom of my heart.
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This makes no sense to anyone but me, sorry. Just had to get this out of my system.