Prologue:
I ran across the backyard to my treehouse. We met here the same time everyday & would stay & play for hours upon hours. He was already waiting for me, of course.
"What are we doing today?" I asked climbing the steps.
"I don't care."He said smiling.
"I don't have no ideas." I said plopping down on a bean bag frowning.
"Let's play wedding!" He said excitedly.
"Okay! That's my favourite!!!!"
We went over to our dress up pile. He grabbed his tux & I grabbed my dress. I went out while he got dressed then he done the same for me. He waited for me at the bottom of the steps, like always.
"You took a million bajillion years!" He complained grabbing my hand & walking me across the yard.
"If you're a meanie I not gonna marry you." I said as we giggled.
"Will you really marry me? Not a game with dress up?"
"Niall, we're too wittle. We're only six."
"But what bout when we get a wittle bigger?"
"When we get bigger I can marry you, but you have to asks my daddy."
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"Go get 'em, Squeaky." Those were the last words I said to him as I hugged him goodbye when he left for his tour. Three years ago.
I called him Squeaky because of how his voice used to squeak when we were younger. He called me Goober, because I was such a dumb blonde at heart.
I hadn't seen him since the day he left. It'll be three years in August. I still remember everything about him, after all we were best friends for seventeen years.
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Another day on campus. Disgusting. It isn't bad enough I'm stuck here, but then every place I look I'm reminded. Reminded of my best friend. Sounds devastating, I know. Well, trust me pal, it is. Since ya know, he's out touring the world.
We planned to do that together. When we were eight he said he'd become rich & famous by singing & then we'd go all over the world together. He became rich & famous, & he travels the world but I'm here looking at his empty house everyday. His mom & stepdad live there, but it's empty without him. I look out at that old & faded treehouse with our finger paint on the walls & I can't lie, it hurts.
I see him everywhere. I can't get away from it. I see newspapers, magazines, hear about it on the radio, & then to finish off my day every night I look out my bedroom window & see that dark empty treehouse. I see him leading me across the yard laughing as we ran from the dragon, witch, troll, or whatever it was that day.
And then, if that's not bad enough, I have the same dream. At least 2-4 times a month. The more I miss him the worse it gets. We're playing in the backyard, but I'm not playing it's like, like I'm watching us. I'm so happy I can't stand it then someone puts their arms around my waist, Niall, I turn to him & smile. Then I realize that I'm watching my son & my daughter play out the window, in a treehouse, in our backyard. Then I hear the baby cry & go get him. Next I come back to the window & stand with Niall & watch. Our relationship wasn't ever like that though, all "lovey-dovey" We were just best friends.
I know, I know. I sound pathetic. It's a dream, so what? It was silly stuff you wanted to do as kids, what's the big deal? I'm not mad at him for chasing his dream, I'm proud of him even, I just miss him.
I'm tired of missing him. Missing a person, I'm convinced, is the worst feeling there is. You could argue sadness is, but sometimes being sad for an hour or two fixes things. Missing someone doesn't help anything. I mean yes, you realize the people you have in your life are special & you shouldn't take anyone for granted. But it doesn't get fixed, in my case.
Maybe one day when he's 80 & decides to retire we can catch up but until then, I'll be waiting. Missing him.
