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He was the tallest man in the world and I was the biggest failure

The day it happened was a gray day

you know that kind of day that makes everything look awful

just like i was feeling

maybe it was his words

or maybe it was just my mind

but i couldnt stop thinking

torturing myself

suffering

time kept running and my head kept spinning

by the time i had to go home

I had already decided it

it was over

i was quitting

but i thought that it was going to be easier

that i could just gave up everything like that

and it all will be over

but i knew i have fucked up

(maybe I could have waited)

I knew it as soon as they looked at me like that

(maybe they were right

maybe I just had to wait a few days)

like I was a failure

like I have let them down

like they were expecting more from me

for some reason

But they weren't in my head

or in my body

anyway it was my fault

I was treating myself worse than they would ever treat me

I let the tears run trough my face so i could catch them

so i could drink them

I seriously was worried that i could dry myself and die or something

I guess that if that could happen nobody would cry

but I was scared

and feeling like shit

stressed and depressed

the thoughts flew through my mind like a powerful temptation

I saw myself floating in that lake

cold and still

I couldn't handle it

But I knew I've fucked up

I saw it in everyone's gazes

xoxo

I haven't stop feeling like this in 6 years

don't you think there's something wrong