The Stories Within

Goodbye Again

"I must be drunk as shit or delusional." She mumbled sleepily breaking out of the hold of her lover and sat up on the couch.

Zac patted him on the back and announced to the various people in the spacious living room "Guys this is Mark, my buddy from Cali." He just stared at her, his mouth moving trying to form words. Regret and sorrow swirled in his eyes.

"You son of a bitch!" She screamed and flew at him, fist swinging. A solid crack resonated through the silence in the room. Red filled her vision and her hands had a rage filled mind of their own as they slammed into his face. Over and over.

Almost breaking out of a trance, her lover hauled her off the stranger and held her tight as she struggled.

"What the fuck just happened?" Zac yelled over her curses.

"Em," Mark mumbled standing up, his face battered "let me explain. I-I-I-"

"You what? Go on. I'm waiting." She snapped sarcastically.

"I couldn't handle it." He said in a whisper, almost to himself. He knew it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

"You couldn't handle it?!" She said with a bitter laugh. "Well isn't that just rich! You couldn't handle it! You couldn't handle it? I was fucking there! Do you have any idea what it's like to watch someone bleed out? How their face changes colors? How about hearing someone's last ragged breath? How about their last words to the person they're madly in love with? Or watching someone go through the grief of watching their soulmate die?" At this point she had stopped struggling and broke free standing tall. "Have you ever heard a death rattle? Have you ever watched three of your best friends die in front of you? Or sat with their dead bodies for hours waiting for someone to find you?" Her voice trembled, flashbacks coming in waves. "To be covered in blood, but not have a single scratch or hardly even a fucking bruise? To walk away perfectly fine? The doctors tell me I was in shock and my brain put me in a temporary paralysis, my brain fucking broke. That's why I couldn't do anything. Do you have any idea what it's like to hate yourself as much as I do? What it's like to want to be dead everyday for two and a half years?" She stared at him her small form shaking with tears streaming down her face.

His own faucets had turn on, tears running like rivers fell down his face. He'd never felt this much emotion before. Everything hurt. His heart the most.

"Oh," she spat with a sweet watery smile, "I almost forgot. Have you ever had the last person you can go to blame you for their death in his suicide note? Or blame you for him killing himself?" A cold laugh followed. Nothing but their uneven breathing could be heard.

"Well! Have you?" She shouted at him.

"No." His voice rasped out.

"And you said you couldn't handle it. I've been drowning for years, but I'm finally learning how to swim on my own. You're not going to come back into my life and fuck that up. So go back to wherever you left to and stay there. I'm feeling again, I'm learning how to be happy again. You're not allowed to ruin me again." With that she turned and walked out the front door, leaving everyone shocked and feeling the water settle in her lungs.