One Step Closer

Part one: The One where it starts....

"Why have you changed?" I say to her with minimal disgust. That question sends her up the wall and I know it!
"I haven't changed its just you and me.... We are different...."
There it is.... That sort of stab! It Really hurts when she says that! And as this conversation always seems to go, I say....
"That's a lie! We are best friends! Always have been and always will be!
"I know, but our views are different!" She says glaring into the mirror.
"I get it, its always the same thing. Different family's, different lives, different views!" I think for a moment.
"Hannah, you won't ever leave me.... right?"
"I promise. We stick together even when we are far apart, no?"
"Yes, I get it."
I stare at the wall for a bit with Hannah's head in my lap. Then we both stare at each other in the mirror, her face a picture of sorrow. We stay like that for a while in her room whilst we chat and reminisce our amazing memories. We stare into the mirror, still, as if watching clouds go by. Something seems out of place with her though. I don't see what it is.... At first...
"Wait.... Hannah what is that?" I jolt up and point urgently at the mirror. I turn her arm over slowly in my hands. "You've been doing it again haven't you...."
"Emma, you know that's not true. Besides I know how it makes you feel, its just mean of me so I stopped!"
I walk over to her broken draws with underwear hanging out and sigh.
"Why? Why?"I whisper.
"Why to what?"she replies.
"So many things...." I feel around in the drawer and when my hand has found nothing I move down.
"Stop it your creeping me out and anyway I have to go soon! I am going out...."
She looks nervously and plays with her arm.
"Emma-Rose....Stop!"
A wave of anger and hurt rushes through me when my hands are greeted by the cold.
Its sharp edges slice my fingertips. I slowly and shakily pull it out.
"Hannah, explain this?"
When she says nothing I continue.
"You say we have different views on certain things? Well I meant things like boys, partying, popularity! But this....this is too far! You lied to me!"
I hold the handle with a deathly grip and I watch Hannah's cheeks go pale.
"Emma...I....I am so sorry! There is nothing I can do to stop myself....ifs refreshing and...."
"Oh my god Hannah....You lied! Do you know how stupid this is? Your so self centered." I start to Shake with anger and disappointment.
"You know what, have fun out in town! The one person who cares about you will...." I struggle to get out my words.
"I'll just be.... at home."
I drop the bloodstained knife onto the ground, it slices at my foot but I don't care.
I'm livid, I'm hurt, I'm confused, disappointed, worried and so, so much more! Things will never be the same.

Few years later....

I look back on this now with shame. I have changed my views. I know. I understand. This was just the start, the very first step that sent me on the journey to seeing,
The Real World....

To be continued....