Hubcaps And Ashtrays (kellic)

Chapter Three

[Kellin's POV]

The rest of Saturday goes mostly as planned, or at least as it usually goes. No takedowns, no one ending up in solitary. Surprisingly, I managed to get through the day without any more incidents and without losing any of the day's nutrient lacking food. Significant progress, if I do say so myself.

Vic remains out of the room for most of the day, presumably visiting with his family, hanging out alone in the lounge, staying as far away from me as he can. Can't say I blame him, my crazy was showing earlier. I frighten myself sometimes, imagine how someone who doesn't even know me feels. Not good.

The funny thing is, the flashbacks really should have been going away. The doctors said the meds would take care of all that, but I really don't feel like they're doing anything, which is almost sickening. They're drugging me to no avail. If it isn't working, then it must be because I'm too crazy, right?

Well, at the very least, the voices have stopped, so at least one of the medications they have me on is doing what it should. Thankfully without the unfortunate face-twitching side effect. Schizophrenia is bad enough when your face isn't twitching, so why take the medication if you're going to do that uncontrollably, personally, I'd have preferred the voices killed me before I'd let that happen, so I'm only thankful that never happened.

I suppose, since it didn't happen it shouldn't matter too much. I do know the antidepressant they've got me on isn't doing what it should. If it was, I wouldn't be constantly suicidal. Of course, nobody but Vic knows that, but it's only fair. We are in the same boat, after all. Which makes it the only reason I'm okay with him being inside my head.

There's also just... this certain something about him that just draws me in, makes me believe we could actually be friends. If making friends could even be remotely possible in this god forsaken place.

I've always felt that way in here. That real friendships aren't really possible, that my friendships with Jenna and Tay are shams. That everyone in here is out to get everyone else and no one has yet made me feel otherwise. Except suddenly, for some reason, he does. He does and I've known him so much less time than I'd known Jenna and Tay. It's almost unfathomable how much more comfortable I am around him than I ever have been with Jenna or Tay. Never would I have thought I'd have less of a tough time letting a guy whom I'd not even known that long into my head when I'm not even actually sure I want to be here myself.

Eventually, it's time for dinner, and that's when I run into Vic again. He waves me over to the table, and I'm actually hungry for once.

After attaining my food, I join him at the table and he smiles at me as though I didn't appear to be entirely insane this morning. "Hi," he says brightly, clearly rejuvenated by the visit from home, much like everyone else always is. I wouldn't know what that's like since dear old Mom doesn't visit and Dad's been AWOL for as long as I can remember.

"Hi," I say quietly, eyes boring into the food on my plate.

"So, you okay? You seemed kind of off earlier. And I haven't seen you all day," he says, sounding very concerned.

I shrug, "yeah, I'm fine. Just the usual, I guess."

"I wouldn't know what your usual is," he points out.

"Right... you're new, aren't you?" I remember. "My usual is always a little off on Saturdays. I'm sorry. I should have mentioned that. I usually just hide out in my room and don't talk to anyone."

He shrugged, "you have your rights."

I nod, falling silent as I begin to eat.

The rest of the night is spent in silence, not bothering with anyone or anything, but once I retreat to the room, it's once again a comfortable silence, even once Vic enters.