All Is Lost

Admin Note: Warning for smut, slight unwanted intercourse, and yaoi. Flames will be used to cook my food so I suggest you keep negative comments to yourself. Otherwise I hope you enjoy reading this as much I enjoyed writing it. Let me know if this should stay as a One Shot or continue as a story! (Yes I call him Samuel or Sam by the way, because Mathieu is confusing and similar of how France spells Matthew's name.)

( Samuel's P.O.V
Saskatchewan, Canada )

So far, it's been two weeks and already my phone's been ringing. Mostly from Allen. I don't see why, or what his point is because I'm not going to answer it.
Honestly, if you're going to screw the guy I'm in love with, get in a fight with me and tell me you never want to see me again then so be it. Seeing and talking are two different things but I don't even want to hear his voice. He hurt me deeply. We're supposed to be two of a kind, double trouble, two boobs in a bra, or peas in a pod. Well he pushed me away from being kind, sent me to boarding school, cut me apart by snipping our relationship right down the middle, sent Mr. Mengel* to do genetic research on us, another words to put it straight he fucked our bond up.
Every time I think about Matthew I end up sulking in my own misery. Do I feel betrayed? Of course I do. Do I want to see him again? I'm afraid to.
Two days ago, I saw him when I was shopping. He was looking at bread and I had to get a loaf for a part of my dinner. When he went to turn around I hurried to another aisle and looked intently at the dish supplies like as though they had the answers to what was beyond a black hole. He walks past, disappearing to somewhere else and I go to the bread area relieved. Sadly he got the last loaf of white bread and I sigh; figures that much. In the end I ate one of those shitty TV dinners with gritty mashed potatoes and stiff corn. Life is cruel.
- - -
Today however, I wanted to make it up to Kuma. He personally had a connection to Matthew's bear, and liked Matthew because he was nice and took him out, sometimes even gave him treats. I hadn't given him Maple Crackers in two years, but I usually give him some kind of treat like a Lady Finger or two. Preferably, he likes the crackers and once again, I forget to get them. So in the morning I go back to the store and buy five boxes to stock up. The lady looked at me like as if I was a stranger at a gas station parking lot asking for ten cents.
Now, I wish I only bought one box because Kuma's still mad at me and won't even sit next to me so I've decided to get out and go for a walk. Some fresh air to clear my mind, then maybe when I get back I can conjure up another way to apologize to Kumajiro.
I grab my keys, put on my sunglasses, and open the door. I think now, right in this moment I can feel my heart bungee jumping from my chest to my stomach and up again because Matthew freaking Williams is right there, physically standing right there at my door.
He looks a bit startled at first with his hand in the air ready to knock at my door when I already opened it. He lowers his fist, smiling a bit nervously to my distaste.
"Hey Sam! I figured that I'd stop by. I tried calling you but um..you didn't answer so I got kind of worried." He holds a bag, looking at me. After only two weeks, I crack and step aside to let him in. He takes off his coat and sets the bag down when inside, looking around to see how much has changed since he was last inside. I watch, sunglasses still on with my keys discarded on the table. "I brought a few gifts but maybe we could open them after I talk to you?"
Nervousness claws at me in the back of my head and I move a hand along the top of my hair that's tied back.

"Sure, have a seat. . . Want anything to drink?" He shakes his head no.

"I'm fine!" From his optimistic behavior I try not to worry, I feel that Allen said something about me liking him and now there's no rocket fuel and I'm crashing into Saturn, and he's returning things I've given him after "the talk".
I sit down next to him, unsure if that's a good idea and look at Canada. He looks back at me and moves something around in his pants pocket.

"A-About last time," -he inhales "I'm sorry,"

"It's alright, it wasn't your fault. " I continue to absorb the features of his face.