Secrets

Secrets Oneshot

   It was late at night and Naruto was sneaking from his own home into the deadly darkness which lay outside. Again. Hinata and his children were sound asleep in their warm beds, and that was reasonable as he guessed it was no earlier than three in the morning.
    But he had to go, to wander his way out once again and find his solace. The guilt was beginning to feel overwhelming, but it only made him run to that comfort more often. He raced through the woods, winding his way between rocks and trees recklessly in a desperate attempt to arrive quickly.
    The forest was silent aside from his brushing against nature and hurried footsteps. The wind blew coolly in the autumn air as he raced to find his heart. He came to a sudden stop in a small, open patch of grass. There was a dark, shadowed figure across the way standing very still. There was no way the blonde haired boy wouldn't recognize that shape.
    "Sasuke.." He whispered, just loudly enough for the other to hear him. His heart thudded ferociously against his rib cage in the silence that followed as the figure approached him.
   "Who else, dope?" He answered, the irritation in his tone half hearted.
    The blonde haired boy breathed a deep sigh of relief before allowing himself to fall wholly onto the Uchiha's broad chest. He could hear the heart beating against his ear, not quite as quickly as his own. He inhaled the sweet scent of his secret lover, a mixture of sweat and leaves, most likely due to his run here. The tan hands tangled into the fabric of the baggy shirt beneath them and clung desperately in a tight hug. Finally Naruto felt like he could breathe. He no longer felt like there was a crushing brick sitting on his chest, restricting oxygen from his mind. The past few weeks had been intensely stressful. Being the Hokage didn't come without its many worries. 
    Sasuke's hands slowly found their way around his relaxed shoulders. Sasuke was always like this; slow to start. He squeezed tighter upon feeling the delicate touch of the black haired ninja gracing him in the form of a hug. Eyelids quickly forced themselves shut tightly over bright blue eyes.
    There was nothing okay about what they were doing. They were going behind their wives' backs, claiming to have love for them when in reality they desperately searched for each other. Naruto ashamedly felt nothing when he held Hinata. But when he and Sasuke became one he would cling desperately to the other's body, his heart fluttered with each movement and his breath was completely taken with every look and whisper. He longed for Sasuke. It went so far past desire or love, that he had never been able to make it into words. Though he'd tried on many occasions.
    There wasn't a single doubt swimming in the ocean of his mind that the supposedly indifferent man felt the same way about him. He adhered himself to Naruto whenever the chance arose. Often making believable excuses just to lead the blonde somewhere discreet and embrace him, or press his lips to his own. Anyone who knew the Uchiha knew that it wasn't in his character to be affectionate. And had Naruto not known the man so well he'd be inclined to agree. Even with their relationship he was bossy, rude, and sometimes hurtful. But the leaf knew it was all due to his inability to say how he felt. And he was okay with it. The raven haired man showed his affection in different ways, through different processes, and he accepted that.
    As pale fingers reached for his downcast chin he smiled gratefully. He wouldn't trade these secret meetings for his life. Soft lips pushed against his own willfully and he reciprocated immediately. His lips moving against the ones before him naturally, and smoothly. Fingers knotted in jet black hair as he hopelessly pulled the body closer to him.
    Hands moved up from his chin and made their way up and grasped his jaw line, pulling his face harder, in a more severe manner. Breath was lost between the two as mouths found each other in the darkness, unwaveringly.  Naruto was the first to pull away, his forehead falling gently against the directly in front of him as he cursed the need for air with every pant, his eyes half lidded in absolute bliss. 
    "Sasuke.." He gasped quietly. It felt so free, and the blonde was sure he could stay in this same position for the rest of his life.
    "I know already," he grumbled with feigned irritation. His heart could be felt beating hard through his chest. He nudged the tan nose with his own and Naruto immediately met black eyes. There were things rumbling in them, like a thunderstorm ready to roll in. All the things the pale lips found unable to voice, all their meetings, their shared feelings, their secrets. It all threatened to spill out of the fierce orbs.
  The thought of anyone sharing a moment like this with Sasuke caused Naruto to feel a severe pang in his heart. He looked down, wondering if he had ever blessed Sakura with such a look. He had no room to be angry, they were both stuck in the same situation.
  "I can't anymore," he whispered, resting his head against his lover's chest. It hurt so much. Not only himself, but his family as well. Although it was true that they knew nothing about it, it felt so wrong to constantly betray the trust they had placed in their father and husband. But what could he do? Leave his wife and children? Live a life with Sasuke that would undoubtedly have them constantly judged? He couldn't do that to the other ninja. And he couldn't do that to his family. What a great shame and embarrassment it would be for them, a scar they'd never be able to forget.
  The feeling of arms tightening around his waist and the minuscule weight falling against the top of his blonde head reminded him, once again, why it was all worth it. He smiled melancholically as he pulled away just enough to observe the dimly lit face of his constant consolation. "But I will," he said firmly, answering the unasked question he could see forming on the Uchiha's face. "I always will."
  Sasuke embraced him tightly, burying his face into the side of his tanned neck. They spent the rest of the night in a soundless embrace, silently holding on to each other as if the other were the only anchor keeping them tied to the Earth rather than floating to heaven.