It Hurts but Thanks

"Love is the most beautiful thing to have, the hardest thing to earn and the most painful thing to loose".

Every love stories has the happiest part in your life. It gives you hope and courage to live but then... it could make you feel the great sea of despair and a taste of hell...

What makes you feel like hell is your expectation that it should feel like heaven. It is right to be happy when you are deeply fall in love but you must be blind if you're not ready to feel the tragedy of it...

.................

I thought that my life starts when I was born but I was wrong. Everyone's life starts if he/she is starting to know themselves...

I was in grade one when I felt that I'm trapped. My soul was trapped inside the body of a boy. This made me realize that life would not be easy for me and love would be forbidden to me...

I wish that I was like them, I wish that I can move in this world without any hesitations. Every breath I take has the taste of fear... the fear of being judge and the fear of being hurt...

I don't have the courage to live but when you realize how lonely it is to be by your own... you will be kind but being kind is not enough or should I say that there is no such thing to make them accept you. You are only tolerated but you're not totally accepted...

I'm demure, discreet and weak but there is a light inside me. I'm scared of many things but I realized that my greatest fear is the fear of loosing you.

...................

It was afternoon when I first saw you... the sky was clear and the sunlight turns everything something magical. Your dark brown hair falls into your beautiful brown eyes, your lips are pinkish and your skin is pale. I never felt this way before but I like the way how I felt that day...

Our first interaction was the day when I was bullied by different students. You protect me from them. It is the first time that I felt I'm secured. Your not just handsome outside but your heart is also filled with kindness. You are my hero, my guardian angel and the only person who showed me kindness...

We became the best buddies. You are always here for me, you care for me and your the only one who accepted me for what I am. You are like my big brother...

Many years ago... our friendship still the same but my feelings for you bloom like a lily of the nile. I cherish you but I can't loose you so I concealed what I feel for you...

I'm the one who is making the love letters for the girls you like but every word inside it are the words that I wish I could tell you. I endure the pain looking at you happy with them because I know that I can't endure the pain if you leave me...

You experienced many relashionships but I was not because you already captivate my heart. You always cry in my arms because of the girls who broke your heart and you keep wishing that I would be a girl too...

I can't take this any longer. I just wanted to see you happy but how should I do that? I'm just your bestfriend... I want you to feel how much I care for you. Just look in my eyes and you will see...

I remember the day I first said that I love you... your reaction was priceless but we are the same. Your eyes was filled with tears... I thought your tears symbolizes your disappointment to me but I was wrong. You replied to me and you said the most precious words I've ever heard

"I love you, since the day we first met"

That day is the happiest part of my life. You give me stength, courage and hope to live. Your family accepted me like I was also their child. We cherish every moment being with each other...