INNER HELLS - anorexia/bulimia *trigger warning*

One - The story behind the story

Her name was Aleera, a beautiful name for a little girl born on a sunny Friday, mid-February. The temperature was cold, but sun won the war against the clouds, and once she turned 7, a similar day happen to her birth day. Wearing a lovely yellow pale dress, her brown hair floated in the soft breeze that danced around her and her family, in that green park downtown. Though she didn't feel happy, her smile showed otherwise. You see, her smile was fake, because people - indirectly - taught her to smile in sad situations, since crying is not welcomed in that family surroundings. Her mom, diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder two years before Aleera was born, was criticized for being gloomy, as her parents said - but she wasn't just gloomy. The weather in her head was stormy inside, with hurricanes and lightning, and some thunders to warn about the worse days ahead. And those days came, soon enough. When Aleera was 9, her mom took a few pills out of the medicine box, later on closed with a lock, to which only Aleera's father held the key. At age 11, she heard someone say the reason behind her mother's hospitalization in a mental hospital was two horizontal cuts, one on each wrist. Though the little girl only heard what most didn't want to say, because she was snooping, she already knew deep inside - for she was battling her own demons. So when her dad finally broke the news "your mother is in a hospital", she asked "when can I visit her". "She will be on heavy medication" was answered with a "can I hug her?". Her grandfather asked themselves, how a little girl could love a sick mother, who, by them, shouldn't be called "mom". She wasn't sick. She was just in a dark inner hell, but Aleera hoped her mom could pull through.

Though, that's when inner demons show their claws - when things get tough. Aleera's mom finally was able to break through for being called recovered and leaving the hospitalization in 67 days. On the 68th day, Aleera's mom committed suicide for the third time. Her body was found outside home, after 3 days of disappearance. The funeral was held two days after, on Aleera's 12th birthday.

That day, when her dad was asleep... Aleera walked almost mechanically to the kitchen and filled her void of pain with sugar, carbs, fats, sweet, savory and the famous chocolate cookies her mom had made prior to her disappearance and... death. In the end, with a full tummy, she finally allowed herself to cry, not only for the pain in her stomach - while still forcing tablespoons of nutella inside her mouth, with every tear - but also for losing her mom. She covered her emotional distress with food, but food is not therapy. And the girl, who needed a hug, was left... with her own inner hell just starting to get worse.