Mistakes..1 2 and so on..

LOVE...?? blind faith or a belief...

"want some coffee...??" the guy from the newly wedded couple asked me. I was sitting with them so i could pass my time for atleast an hour or so... okay i lied. Mr "Cutie" was sitting with them and for no reason i wanted to know this guy a bit more. But  please no guitar music playing in my head or heart yet to ensure my feelings for this guy so...no im not in love.

I looked at Mr"cutie". Below above average height. Probably will be in grade 8 or something. Wheatish complexion. PERFECT SMILE.....ahh in love with his smile. hazel brown eyes. Wait, does his eyes look like a deer's eyes. it has a shape of almonds. Kinda boyish voice. What the freaking hell did i like in this guy...?!?

Whatever it is, i have an urge to know him better. I hope he does too. But it is not love. I dont find my heart beat, that beats that rapidly or  any love music i can hear. Its just a casual numbness i feel around guys. i just dont know why but i still want to know this guy. There was something. Some positive vibe that told me the feeling is mutual. Is it love..??

I can probably never be in love. According to me, love is a sacred feeling which comes only a few time in one's life. i believe in love, its purity,its trueness. Love is enriched by only true feelings. Call me old fashioned but like shakespear said "Love is not which alters when alteration finds." love does not change. Its never does, if you actually have true feelings for that person. Even in the hardest of hard time you know your feelings will never change for that person. That is a kinda love i need. i never found it. But im not in a hurry to find it. Im just 17 and there is a whole life left for it.

My friends say i can never be a good girlfriend. i dont have any qualities of a girlfriend. maybe that is the reason i have never been in love. To be a girlfriend, should a girl instantly fall in love...?? Well, io have had a bunch of crushes. But nothing to be called as love. My friends have given me a tag of a "playgirl" because of my instant attraction towards boys and because well, i flirt with them. People look at Zaara, as a tomboyish girl who enjoy spending time with boys instead of girls, get attracted to boys easily and flirt back. But no body dares to look deep inside to the fact that this girl has never had a boyfriend and takes her crushes seriously.

I mean 90% teenage girls are in a relationship with guys with whom they hardly have future with. Is'nt that something that everybody need to think of?? Why would anyone want to fall in love with a guy or girl they certainly know they do not have a future with. countries like India, where the only freedom is to choose your favorite color pencil to have a "happily ever after" is impossible. Parents choose everything, from biscuits to dresses, from school to colleges, from carreer to bride groom for their children. We are not allowed to oppose their choice. After all we owe them.

So in a country like Indian, these teenage romances are just a pass time. Its like adding colors to the boring life of teenagers. The colors that would soon fade for many. I dont want any of it. The heartbreaks especially. I have heard and seen many of them. They are the worst...!!  Crying, chocolates, mucus comming out of the nose every second..eww...figths,sometime abuses...i mean physically too, cheating etc. Isnt that too much pain for the heart to bear...??

Above all the sudden weigth gain that take place after getting over your ex...Isnt that enough to ruin your life..??

Love should be Magical,Logical and Beautiful...some thing that never ends...never stops...has its own rythemic flow and we are the dancers where we do not a have a left foot..we just dance with the flow.

Love is smiles and laughs not crys and pain.

Love is flower not thorn.

Love is mist not smoke.

Love should be LOVE....!!

I doubt that i would ever find a guy in this 21st century who would not want to alter my love.