The Payne Twins [A Niam FanFic]

I'm really sorry guys :'(

This isn't an update and I will get on with it in a while but I just feel like saying this;

I've been getting more and more depressed lately and it's because of a guy I really like- no! In love with the guy actually and he doesn't know about it and he's already with some girl that he's dated before. 💔

I trashed my room on Tuesday last week because I was upset and angry at myself  for liking him so much and this just f*cking happens. I actually wanted to kill myself on that day but I didn't I just gave myself some new scars on my arm instead. I'm just so stupid for liking him and I lost my first kiss to him for crying out loud. 😭

I just can't escape this and I don't know what to do anymore and I wish to start over but I already know it's already too late for that. I'm a screw up and always will be one.

I just don't have many people to talk to about how I feel and some people that don't care about me much and I just feel so alone and helpless all the time.

I just don't know what I did wrong about this whole mess and I'm just a screw up about everything I do and say.  I always try my best but it doesn't work out well for me.

I'm always known myself as the broken-hearted girl and the girl with a fake smile, who is hiding her emotions inside and nobody knows it's killing her/me. 💔😭

I'm just almost done with my life already and I can't live anymore with my mistakes I've made or what my friends made and they make it like its my fault instead of theirs like my one guy friend did to me and made me feel miserable for the whole month of November and nobody asks me how I am or how I'm doing and not even the guy I really like asked me that and it made me feel even more worse inside.

I'm just sorry guys and don't worry I will update I just need a few days to get myself together with everything that's happening around me and try not to do anything that I'll regret doing and exams are coming up for me so yeah and grad dress shopping as well.

I love you guys so much and your all amazing and beautiful to me and never ever doubt yourself. ❤️