Chapter 1, Part 2

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If these walls could talk, they would tell the story of no words. No one talks here. No one thinks clear. Nothing is normal. Your life is not normal. You don't talk normal.  You don't speak normal. Your mouth doesn't form words normal. Like you got locked away..... 

Ironic

I don't know why I would even like it here.  Hate it here. To do anything other then sitting and feeling lonely,  pethethic, awkward, useless, nothing, no one , everyone,  someone, something,  some.  Something other then words.  Something like love,  hate,  feelings,  emotions, things,  space, existence,  dead,  alive,  moving,  not moving,  staying,  not staying,  something other then anything else that can be something other then love or hate or-


I'm getting off guard. 


I quess I should not think about slowly getting insine. At least I could try.

The ticking is stil here. It's nousiating. I feel like throwing up. I'm not going to. Even if there would be someone out there, it would be better to at least try and stay clean. For as long as I can manage. I'll find a way, I hope.

I could see a door. Either the door is huge, of the roof is low. I have no idea, my body refuses to stand. My body is paralised, it's not working. I can feel everything. I just can't move, my mind doesn't want me to. It doesn't want me to move to the door. I do. My body just does not want to.

 My eyes are dark. My pupils fill up my eyes, like a demon is taking me over. I guess the demon would want me to stay here. He took my body, not my mind. He shows me the door. He taunts me. He knows what is behind the door. I know too, but I won't think about it. It's worthless, useless, not helping me. So why would I? 

Why would I?



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