I can't unfeel how I feel.
Countless years of fighting my affections and failing miserably has become my malevolent fate
My heart latches onto multiple people almost parasitically
And this overwhelming sense of yearning shudders through me
I reach out
Clawing and ripping for a reaction, some attention, or some acceptance.
But yet again I find myself alone
Laid up, misty eyed, and broken
Because I don't understand myself
Nor the pain I cause myself to go through by allowing myself to feel
If it were up to me by now I'd disable that part of my brain
Just be numb
Free
Okay
'Cause I can't remember the last time I was.
