Here I Am

Stalker

Allison Sims, sophomore at Greggs Memorial High School, not much of a talker, but my best friend Ryan would tell you differently. Ryan is a sophomore like me and we’ve been buddies since I can remember. He’s been there through every major event in my life and I’ve always joked with him that I don’t know what life would be without him. He’s always calling me Kiddo, which I hate, considering we’re the same age. He just thinks he’s older because his birthday is a couple of months before mine. Whatever.

 I enjoy a lot of activities, except sports. I hate sports, but I love to swim. But not for sport, you know. Ryan is always telling me to try out for the swim team but I hate those snotty swimmers who think they’re the mermaids of the school. Pft, if I had a dime for every time he said that, I’d be a millionaire. Anyway, back to me. I’m as vain as the next depraved girl. I love every type of music and I currently have a stalker-like crush on Ian Finn. He’s a tall blonde drink of water and every time I look at him, I get an urge to jump him. Yep, that’s as stalker-like as it gets. Unfortunately, however, he’s been cursed to date Sarah McCoy, a former little Miss America beauty pageant runner up. She can’t get over the fact that she was second friggin place, so if you mention it, she’ll blow fire out of her nostrils and you instantly become the school’s most hated. She’s not exactly popular, but she’s stinking rich and if you mess with her, you as well as your parents will be forced to work in a coal mine. End of story. Luckily, or unluckily for me, I live with my Grandma, whom I call Lucy, because she used to be a showgirl and won’t stand for Granny or Nana. So, Sarah ain’t got nothing on me. I’m poor and I live with my senile Grandmother. I love her by the way, not saying I don’t. Lucy is way above retirement age, so we do well living off her pension, which is quite a lot of money. What about my parents, you ask? They’re as dead as door knobs. They died in a plane crash and left me to the world. Great guys, thanks; life’s been amazing.

All this talk about people and I haven’t described anybody. Forgive my rudeness, I’ll be as vivid as a cereal commercial; Hmm, where to start…

I’m plain, blue eyes, brown hair that looks red in some light. Weird I know. I have an oval poodle-like face and I usually look bored. I’m average height and I could have done with more in the boob department. Now to another poor sap. Ah! Ryan, there you are!

Ryan has brown hair that he lets grow out sometimes. He’s like the third hottest guy in school, Ian, of course being the first and Brad Thompson being second. Brad is a senior and he’s the basketball champ. Nuff said. I have told Ryan this several times, but he thinks I’m exaggerating and sometimes gives me a noogie when he’s in a bad mood, which is rare because he’s always smiling and showing off his damn dimples that I am jealous of. He’s 18 going on nineteen and one of the smartest students in school. Oh! And he has brown eyes that look caramel in the sunlight. I think I might be hungry, with all this talk of food.

Ian is blonde, great body, great hair, hot smile, hot lips, sexy smile, everything is just amazing ok?! Did I just say his smile was hot and sexy? Well it is! I’m getting all hot and bothered just thinking about him. Whew! Moving on; he plays tennis and sometimes baseball. Not much of a talker either, that’s why we’re made for each other and not him and the wicked witch of the west, Sarah. I’m his Dorothy! Dorothy? What am I saying?

Sarah, whom although I could go the normal route to say she paid for her good looks, is actually one very beautiful girl. Damn her! Why can’t she be like those annoyingly hot girls who pay for their looks? Well whatever she’s mean, so yay for me. At least she’s got an ugly attitude. Well, I am sort of mean, but only to people who deserve it, like Sarah. Yeah, I’m like the non-popular poor mean girl. So yeah, that about wraps up my life and blah!

“Al, are you done spacing out?” Ryan asked, looking weirded out as usual by my faraway look, which kinda looks like I’m having cramps.

“Huh?” came the intelligent answer. He grinned, and I punched him in the arm.