Behind the Walls

Truth or Consequences

*back to present*

        “I love you, Isabelle. Where have you been for so long?! You had me worried sick about you. I thought that you had changed your mind about us,” Chris lightheartedly types into the computer.

From the corner of my eye I can see Chris’ face light up like a Christmas tree. It pains me that I was responsible for the heartache he had just been through. My selfish needs are what got us into the whole mess of emotion, how am I ever going to break the news to Chris? Eventually the truth will come out, but at the moment I am not brave enough to face the blue eyed boy. With a heavy heart I slowly begin to type, “Yeah, ummm, sorry, I had to go and take care of my ill grandmother. She really needed my help at the time, we were really close when I was younger, so it was obvious that I would volunteer. I missed you bunches, Chrissy honey.” I peek above the well- lit computer screen, Chris stares intently at his laptop.

        The sound of typing violently erupted from the side of the room Chris was now occupying. Without a break in the symphony of sound, his message shortly arrived on my screen reading, “I totally understand where you are coming from, one time I helped this old lady cross the road! I know it’s not exactly the same thing, but I can relate in some way! :) So, how is your grandmother doing at the moment?” Again, gazing at goldilocks, I see the true concern in his eyes. Another thing that makes this boy completely flawless, God, why can’t there be one undesirable thing about him?

        Before starting the chat with Chris, I made sure to turn the volume of the computer all the way off and type lightly, so he wouldn’t grow any suspicions. I knew chatting in the same room would be a very risky thing for me to do, but Chris wanted to stay at my flat today. Not in my years of knowing this man have I ever refused to do anything for him, except tell him the one I truly love. I now softly begin to type my reply, “Yeah, umm, she is very well now. Thank you so much for your concern, it is very sweet of you. There is no need to worry any longer.”

        A huge grin spread across his face moments after I sent the new message his way, this man is going to kill me. He got up from his laptop, hopping across the room, dancing and singing, his dancing is truly the cutest thing I have ever seen. Quickly he made his way back to his spot in the room, his typing began to roar with child- like excitement. “I am so glad to hear that, that is just amazing, I am so glad for you! How are doing now? Not only is her health important, I just want to know you are not neglecting your own.” Worry began to invade his face once again, this man needs to get a stress ball or a massage for all this stress he puts on himself.

        “I am fine, just a little knackered from all of the late nights that I had to stay up, making sure that she was stable. I never regret the time that I get to spend with my loved ones, they can be gone at any moment.” Even though this really never happened to me, just thinking of the scenario makes my eyes burn, but I force back the tears threatening to fall. I close my eyes, going into the deep thoughts of my morality and if the decision I made was another mistake for both of us.

        I look up to see Chris leaning over my screen beaming at me with his gorgeous ocean eyes, they were so clear today. I felt my knees weaken and my hands tremble, he was just inches from my own face, though I must quickly snap out of it. “I love you, Jonny boy. I just thought you should know that. From behind he shut the screen to my laptop, it didn’t bother me, considering we would be spending time together today.

        My face lights up the brightest shade of red as I try to recollect myself from the my moment of weakness. Looking into his eyes, “I love you too, Chrissy honey.” He didn’t seem to notice the truth behind my words, it feels good to be able to say it, even if he never felt the true magnitude of my words.

        He stares at me, squinting his eyes with confusion evident in his composure. “Only one person has ever called me that, and that is Isabelle, strange how you started calling me that out of  nowhere. It is such a weird coincidence, isn’t it?!” His laughter loud enough to be heard through the flat walls.

        My eyes grew wide, but felt relief again as he realized that Chris had made no such connections in any way. Nervously I chuckle uttering the words, “Weird, right?!” He scratches the back of his neck, thank the Christ for my luck! It is a rare occasion that I let my guard slip off like a prom dress.

        Our giggles fill the four walls, slowly it begins to die down, Chris’ face turns more serious. “So, Jonnypuff, where are you taking me to dinner tonight?” His voice deepened and his eyes glistened mischievously. He arched his arms my shoulder and he pulled me in for a kiss on my bearded cheek. “Ouch, your stubbles hurt my lips,” he giggles once again.

“He can go to the cinema and watch WALL-E, I know how you have been dying to see the film.” I made my voice go an octave lower and gave Chris the naughty eye, giving him what he gave me in return. Chris’ face fell, as I realised I forgot to mention the food, he must have been starving. “But before we can stop by the grocery shop, and buy every type of chocolate that they have,” I look at him with a knowing look.

“You know me so well, hun,” he once again says seductively.

We grab our coats and scarves off of the table, it was getting dark outside, meaning we would be freezing our bums off. I hold the door open for Chris as we make our way out of my flat, I turned and with haste locked the door. I caught up to Chris, who was already approaching the double doors leading out of the complex. He drapes his arm around me once again, keeping me tight in his grip and forever in his heart.