Maybe I'm the Wrong You Like

x.

*&*&*&*

Zayn woke up still in the same position he was in when he was contemplating the injustice that is his life.

He continued staring at the ceiling when his stomach growled to let him know the he needs to eat and that he cannot banish himself in his room for the rest of his life.

He's forgotten about the tiny little fact that he was supposed to be helping Niall warm up to the idea of Liam, not Zayn.

And even if it breaks his heart to do it, he should. He isn't going to let Liam down.

*&*

A few weeks later, Liam is still MIA (has been since Zayn met Niall) and Zayn and Niall were spending more and more time together.

It was tormenting Zayn to be getting so close to Niall when he knew he's doing it all for his friend. Well, he should be doing it for his friend.

"Did you know Liam's scared of spoons? He eats ice cream with a fork," he said, as casually as he could, as he and Niall are eating ice cream, "Also, he may not look it, but he boxes. Since he was 12 and he... he's really interesting. You won't get bored," he added lamely.

"I'm sure I won't, Zayn," Niall replied, looking a little perplexed and Zayn wanted nothing more than to pinch those red cheeks and kiss the furrowed forehead but he resisted. "I really am sure he's fascinating because you keep talking about him lately," the blonde continued, tone not sarcastic, just pointing out a fact.

"Do I? I didn't...I didn't notice," Zayn said.

"Is there something you're not telling me, Zayn? Do you...like Liam?" Niall asked. And Zayn could swear he saw something akin to hurt flash those blue eyes and he felt guilty because what if Niall thinks Zayn likes Liam?

So he vehemently uttered a "NO!" that had Niall raising one pale eyebrow. "I mean, I don't. It's just, I think you two should get to know each other better," he amended.

And then Niall asked the one question Zayn didn't think he can answer, didn't want to answer. "Why?"

"You two will get along well. Like, really well because, because," he can't think of any reason how the two can get on really well because he keeps picturing himself and Niall and how they will surely, a hundred percent positive, get along great. "...I just know you will, Ni."

"Are you," Niall started and there's a hitch in his voice and Zayn immediately knows that whatever the blonde's going to ask, it hurts him to ask it. "Zayn. Tell me honestly. Are you tired of hanging out with me? Do you miss your friends? Do you want me out of the picture or, like, less in the picture or something?"

God. Here he is, trying to talk Liam up and instead ends up hurting Niall inadvertently. He knew he'd be a shit wingman from the get go. He had no idea how to do this kind of thing right. And he knew he'd even be shittier when he realized he'd want the blonde for himself. "Of course not, Ni. Tell you what, I'll stop talking about Liam," and he wanted to eat his own tongue the moment that came out because helping Liam means talking about Liam but, again, here he is promising to not talk about Liam. What the fuck is wrong with him? "...and we can talk about whatever you want. I like hanging out with you, I swear. I just thought you'd be tired of me by now, you know."

"Well, I'm not," Niall smiled, "and I'm sure Liam's as interesting as you say he is but what about we just talk about you and me when we're together? I feel like I know more about your friend now than I know you and it's sort of uh...unsettling."

"Unsettling?"

"I haven't spent a lot of time with Liam. I mean, I know him but not really know him. And the amount of time you spend talking about him the past week is just...well, a little weird."

They ate in silence after that.

When they were finished and walking to the direction of Niall's dorm, the blonde continued, like they never stopped talking, "I like spending time with you, Zayn. You're smart and funny and you actually listen to me babble on and on and I don't understand why because I usually just annoy Haz. And you don't tease me about how much I love food or that I like Justin Bieber and you're okay with me singing whatever's on the radio when we're in your car even if I try to sound as off-key as possible because I like to tease you and...why are you so nice to me?"

Because I really like you. "Because I like spending time with you too, Niall. And I genuinely find everything about you interesting."

Niall stopped walking and Zayn realized he was walking by himself a few steps ahead. He went back to where Niall was. "Everything okay, Ni?"

Niall looked at him then. Really looked at him and he swallowed and his beautiful sapphire eyes were unsure, scared, determined. "I like you, Zayn. I mean, I really like you. As more than a friend. I'm falling in love with you."

Oh god no, Zayn's mind screamed. "Niall..." he said as he reached out and touched Niall's cheek.

And Niall, encouraged by the gesture, leaned forward and slammed his lips onto Zayn's and it was fiery and passionate, almost brutal but Zayn loved it and he wanted to kiss back with as much hunger but he can't. Because he couldn't do this to Liam.

He gently pushed Niall away from him and he can see the blonde's emotions as it rapidly flashed on his face—confusion, sadness, hurt.

"Z-Zayn?" he asked uncertainly.

"I can't be with you, Niall." And he can't. That's the truth. No matter how much it pains him to say it.

"Why not?"

He can't say why. It would ruin the whole thing. He can't say why, so he lied.

And as Niall looked at him with pure, unadulterated hurt and fury and ran away out of sight, Zayn finally dropped the façade and let the tears fall.