“Lord, please give me the strength, please keep me safe from harm. I beg of you. Please,” Christina prayed. She was standing outside of her door, hesitating to put her key in the lock and turn it as she was unaware of what tonight had in store for her. Her hands were shaking, not from the cold, but from fear. Was this going to be another night of abuse? Was this going to be another night of having to abstain from screaming out for help? Lastly, was this going to be another night where the bruises and blood served as a reminder of what kind of relationship she was in? We’d have to wait, see, and most of all, hope.
The key was in the lock. Her right hand turned it to the left and heard a click. She was free to enter the house, but not free of the pain she’d have to go through. As she opened the door, a warm rush of wind greeted her face as she took a few steps in, her heels clicking on the floor. She locked the door behind her and turned around to look at her surroundings. She could see max and Matt in the kitchen, Max sitting on the kitchen counter while Matt was cooking some dinner. She walked into the kitchen, and Max greeted her with a kiss and hug. Christina flinched a bit, her eyes starting to tear, as she felt Max’s arms wrap around her, but his hands touched her bruised back and caused even more pain. “Mommy, are you okay?” Max asked. Matt gave Christina a deadly look, and she just nodded to Max and gave ran her fingers through his hair and nodded. Not a word was exchanged between Matt and Christina throughout dinner and until the time Max had to sleep, they were silent.
Christina tucked Max into bed and she sat down on the edge to sing Max a little melody before he slept. Max was cuddled up with his blanket and pillow as he watched his mother’s mouth reveal such soothing notes just for him. It was beautiful and heart-warming, with each of Christina’s words, love increased between the mother and son. Once she finished, she gave Max a kiss on his forehead and looked deep into his eyes and said, “I’ll always be strong for you. No matter what. I love you.” With that, she got up from the bed and walked towards the door, turning the night light on and the main light off. She gave him one last look and walked out of the door, trembling. She was scared. Once Max’s eyes were closed, Christina’s world was open to something she thought was never going to happen.
She walked down the stairs, nervously looking around and trying not to draw attention to herself. She went into the kitchen and found Matt on the couch watching TV. “Get me some more beer,” he said to her. “Excuse me?” she asked. Matt got up and turned around to face her, Christina stepping back a few steps. “ I said get me a beer now.” “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you the first time…” she admitted. She turned around to the refrigerator and took out another beer bottle and handed it to him. “Now you’re making me seem like the bad guy!” “You are the bad guy…” she whispered to herself. “WHAT WAS THAT?” he yelled. “Nothing…it was nothing.” “NO IT WAS FUCKING SOMETHING CHRISTINA. I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU. YOU ALWAYS SING ABOUT HOW YOU SPEAK YOUR MIND AND HOW YOU’RE SO STRONG AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, YOU’RE NOT! YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME!” Matt yelled. Christina’s eyes started tearing up with each word that left his mouth. “DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?! IT’S BECAUSE YOU ABUSE ME!” “I DON’T ABUSE YOU CHRISTINA!” “YES YOU DO! LOOK!” Christina turned around and carefully unzipped the back of her dress, struggling as the pain shot through her back once again. “DO YOU SEE THESE BRUISES?! I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO LEAN BACK AT ALL. EVERY PART OF MY SPINE HURTS! I CAN’T SLEEP AT ALL, I CAN’T LIE ON MY BACK, I CAN’T DO ANYHITNG ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!” “THAT’S NOTHING. YOU WANT TO SEE ABUSE?! THIS IS ABUSE!” In one quick movement, Matt didn’t give any time for Christina to react and save herself. He took his hand and smacked it right across Christina’s abdomen. She hurled down onto the floor, her left shoulder hitting the cabinets. Matt took the beer she had just given her and poured it all over Christina, who was struggling on the floor. “You’re worthless.” Those two words were the last words that he said last night as he left, once again, and never turned back unless he wanted another abuse session.
Christina was left on the floor, coughing and gasping for air. Her ribcage felt as if it were shattered and her lungs would do anything in the world to get some air. She couldn’t breathe, once again. She coughed and coughed, the more she did, the more blood came out. Her tears mixed in with the blood that fell to the floor as Christina once again tried to heal herself. Her right arm reached across to touch her left, but stopped as she felt even more pain. She took her right arm and held her stomach as she coughed, and she felt her breathing become heavier and heavier. Christina’s dress was still unzipped so she removed it carefully so she could examine what needed to be done.
It stared her right in the face, a big, black and blue stretched across her stomach and shoulder. She cried. She wished someone could help her, but nobody was there. No help, no salvation. After praying and hoping, nothing helped. All she could do was cry. She sat in the corner of the kitchen cabinets, quietly sobbing to herself, as she hugged her knees. Her ribcage, heart, and shoulder all needed one thing: safety.
