Don't Let Me Go (Larry fanfiction)

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

     I sit alone on my couch wondering what Louis could be doing. Is he going on another shopping date with Eleanor? Will he actually break up with her? I turn on the television to look through the celebrity news channels hoping I’ll see “Louis Tomlinson breaks up with Eleanor Calder” as a headline. Although I don’t see that headline I see “One Direction Louis Tomlinson relationship problems?” Hell yes there are problems considering he’s not with her. I growl at the television, “He’s with me.”

            My heart starts sinking knowing he didn’t break up with her. How can he do this to me? He can’t keep playing with my heart. And yesterday, yesterday, we went farther than I had wanted to, and now it hurts to know it must not have meant much to him. What do I have to do for him to realize how much I need him? As soon as I have that thought Louis comes in, a frown on his face, I can tell things didn’t go well.  “Harry I’m sorry, so sorry.” I go up to hug him.

            “It’s okay Lou, you tried after all, didn’t you? We’ll be free one day you’ll see.”

            “I’m putting you through hell though! I’m hurting you!” He starts shaking on the couch.

            “Louis, take a deep breath. Please?” He slumps over on the shoulder of the couch. “We’re used to this by now, at least I am. . .”

            “I hate this. . .just hold me,” he begs me. I hold Louis and kiss his cheek. “One day Harry—one day,” he whispers in my ear.

            “One day soon,” I whisper back. Louis puts a hand in my curls and kisses my cheek. “I hate Modest,” I mumble under my breath.

            “It’s late now Harry let’s go to bed,” Louis sighs loudly. “We’ll worry about everything in the morning.” I would try comforting him more, but I know nothing I try will make him feel any better. What will it take to finally be freed? Why is it so wrong to love someone that means the world to you? Louis takes my hand as I walk beside him to my bed room. “You thinking about something?” Louis asks me lying beside me on the bed.

            “Just about you and stuff.” His arms wrap around me. “I love you Louis. No matter what you put me through I will.”

            “I love you too—it hurts me when you’re hurting because of me. Tomorrow’s a new day though so sleep tight,” he whispers in my ear.

            “Good night,” I yawn slowly closing my eyes.

            That night I don’t dream of anything. Nothing but blackness is what I remember. I can’t recall any dreams. Looking over on the side of the bed, Louis isn’t there but a piece of paper is. Holding back a tear, I start reading the piece of paper.

            “I’m so sorry Harry they had Eleanor come over to take me somewhere before you were awake. You probably are so upset right now. Just please remember things will change, get better. –Love Louis”

            He could’ve made her wait—could’ve told her wait until Harry wakes up—it’s not that hard to tell her no. He’s told her no plenty of times. Why is this instance any different? I don’t exactly hate Eleanor I just hate that she’s part of the reason I am kept from being with Louis, kept from being me, kept from letting my real feelings shown. I start pacing around my room in just my boxers trying to calm myself.

            Every time he leaves it hurts—I know it’s going to hurt—for some reason I’m never prepared for it. I made a promise though that I’m going to keep no matter how bumpy this road we’re on gets. I finally stop pacing and grab a piece of paper and a pen. One way to get out these feelings is to write a song maybe, just need to clear my mind. The words I start writing down make me feel a little better.

            A half hour later I read what I wrote down. I start to sing it out loud to myself to see if it sounds any good.

“Now you were standing there right in front of me

I hold on scared and harder to breath.

All of a sudden these lights are blinding me—

I never noticed how bright they would be .

I saw in the corner there is a photograph

No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you.

It lies there alone on its bed of broken glass

This bed was never made for two.

I'll keep my eyes wide open—

I'll keep my arms wide open.”

I take a deep breath before I start crying and sing the rest of it.

“Don't let me—

Don't let me—

Don't let me go

'Cause I'm tired of being alone.

Don't let me—

Don't let me go

'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone.

I promise one day I'll bring you back a star

I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand oh.

Seems like these days I watch you from afar

Just trying to make you understand.

I'll keep my eyes wide open yeah

Don't let me—

Don't let me—

Don't let me go

'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone.

Don't let me—

Don't let me go.

Don't let me—

Don't let me—

Don't let me go

'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone.

Don't let me—

Don't let me—

Don't let me go

'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone.

Don't let me—

Don't let me go

'Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone.”

After the last line I start bursting into tears. The lyrics, all of them, remind me of that night Louis and I said we wouldn’t leave each other no matter how hard it got. They remind me of how things used to be just a few years ago. We didn’t have to hide ourselves, didn’t have to pretend, and didn’t have to lie to our fans, lie to ourselves that we weren’t in love.

            “Harry? Let me in,” I hear Louis from outside the door. Hesitantly I open the door. “Are you okay?”

            “Okay? No I’m not. You left me with just a note to where you should’ve been when I woke up.”

            Louis looked at me, “Be strong for me Harry this week is going to be hectic. If this’ll cheer you up we have an interview tomorrow—you, Eleanor, and me—to discuss Larry. Management wants us to say it’s not true, but I have other plans.”

            “Lou—don’t do it. We can’t do that we’ll be risking everything.” A part of me wants to agree to do it the other half is saying don’t you’ll ruin everything, everyone will know, lots will hate you after admitting you’re in love with Louis.

            “No matter what happens tomorrow we’ll still have each other.” He kisses me softly, smiling into the kiss, I kiss him back. Maybe this will end well I think to myself.