When girl meets paper

Love 1/10/16

Why is love such a priory a persons life?

And I don't mean some family love shit,I mean the real love the never ending fucked up shit that most people strive for.Really they live for it to feel that passion for a person other than yourself.I never really understood how people could love someone unconditionally but I have never loved anyone so I cant say much about it until I actually feel it.I have the jest of it though, I can partly understand that once you love someone you cant un-love them.They take a pice of you and don't give it back because you took a pice of them as well.

But how do you know you truly love someone?

Well I don't know really, its probably a gut feeling. Like you feel that you can't live without this other person and you don't know how you lived before.And even through the ugly faces and the demons that that person has you can't help but see the beauty and Angels in there eyes. When the secrets they could have kept and did keep are no longer hiding in there shell and they are out. You would no longer have that burning sensation of losing him/her.Thats when you know, you know when you feel it,see it, hear it. Since the first time you lade your eyes on that person you knew you would love them,it was in the back of your mind barely speaking to you but you knew it. You knew that there would come a time when you said I love you and she/he would sat it back.There was know way to go back after that because then you have your love, you have your lifeline.When everything turns to that person, when after every fight, petty shit or not you always found a way to be together.

See, all this stories I read always have a boy and girl, strong and weak, cat and dog.And they always revolve around each other.Chasing to have that love back, to be able to have someone kiss you every morning and every night,to have someone hug you every time you cry,to have someone there for you in the worst of times and the fucking best.Laughing and crying,smiling and frowning, teasing and whatever lovey dovey shit people do.

Do you want to be loved?

Truthfully? Yes. I would, and one day I hope that I will be. I hope that I can have that one person that can make me smile when I don't want to. Have me smile into a kiss because dame you know people love to be kissed and Have me be hugged in safe arms to help me forget about the world and the fucked up shit people do.

But I have crated this wall and I don't want to take it down.No one will ever love me anytime soon so what does it matter.I am good the way I am, no hugs or kisses that can have me in a different dimension in an instant. I want it badly. I want that lovey dovey shit, to be able to hear the right person say the right words and make me feel as if me and "you" are the only people moving, planing on taking over our own world together, but like I said its not going to happen any time soon.So, I will live a boring life until he comes, I will fantasize how we would meet, and the nervousness in his voice as he would ask me out or something,and how the date would go hopefully some vintage shit like a movie night or a night swim. I will fantasize about how we would get in trouble because we skipped class or my parents don't like him or visa versa, even though I really wouldn't care what people would say. Wether he would be some hot jock or a cute nerd, as long as you make me feel something I will stay.  

Whats love to you?

Love to me is somewhat crazy.Like how can you give yourself to someone emotionally. I cant really do that with my self, I don't understand half of the things I do and say so how do I tell another person what I think. I mean if we are talking couples then sure I am in and out at the same time. In because I love that cute shit couples do, like this random movie seen where the guy puts whip cream on her nose and the the girl does the same and they just both enjoy the time (yeah I know I just used that movie seen in almost every romance movie) and out because I would never be good at it, I am to far away from the heart and it just takes a few steps for me to reach the door to my mind and thoughts and a whole flight of stairs to get to my heart. I am at the top of the mountain and I don't plan on coming down because the air up here, I am used to it and I am afraid that If I clim back down I will get attention I don't want from the people around me.

How would you describe love?

Love~ A feeling you have for another person; a passion that no one can really explain,When you have those butterflies or when you can see into another persons soul. When you can feel the hurt and betrayal that they feel, when you can feel the happiness and joy they feel.

Thats my definition it may not make scents to you but what in love does makes scents.Nothing I believe.

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So this isn't really a book its just the things I ask my self and answer.I have always wondered if anyone actually thought of the same things I think of. Like for example my thought about love^ do any of you ask your self these questions?

But anyway Here you have, my mind when girl meets paper

Gabriella Lara 🐯