When girl meets paper

Emotions 2/27/1

What is it like? Being able to share your emotions easily,I mean.

I always wonder this and I know for a fact that unfortitaly a lot of people wonder this as well.I don't have it as bad as most people though,some people just shut out completely unlike me. Some people cant even show happiness or joyfulness.I cant even imagine what goes on in there lives and heads.

Saddens.Thats what I can barely feel.I know it may not seem like its bad thing but to me it is.I bet the people who can feel saddens are like "what do you mean".But I would actually love to feel this emotion.I cant cry, Yup you saw that right.I really cant unless my Brian and heart want me too. See I dont really know whats wrong with me, I just cant cry.

And when I happen to cry I feel like I am weak and have no control over anything thats me.

I know some people might not get it,but I hardly get it my self.So...I know I have cried before and I know that on certain occasions I will get to feel the red burning in my eyes and the wet tears that follow after.

But, thats not happening now,right now I cant feel the lump in my throat when in the verge of breaking down,I cant feel the burning liquid about to burst out of my eyes,I cant feel the hot tears rolling down my cheeks,and worse of all..........

I cant and never will feel someone helping me right by my side comforting and asking me whats wrong.

Why do I always go to someone comforting me

I don't need anyone to,I don't need any one to bring the attention to me, yet its still in the back of my mind.But I think its apart of human nature,to always need someone there for you but never want it.When your sick your mom/dad helps you,when your having trouble in school a tutor helps you,when you get a bad injury a doctor helps you.There is almost always someone there to help you even when you don't want it.

Its quite fascinating actually, how we always have someone there to help us. It doesn't matter where you are as long as there is hope, and if hope is there amazing things can happen in an instant.

So, Do I need someone to comfort me?Yes. Do I want someone to comfort me?

See that is a tricky question for me because I don't know what I want.See I have this voice in my head telling be to be independent and that I will never need a solder to cry on.But I also have this other side voice that says I should be independent,but not to independent,sometimes you will need a solder to cry on and sometimes you will have to let your guard down.

But,It all depends on which voice I listen too
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