Send Me Your Love

Chapter 4

Hands trembling, Hazel slid her finger under the lip of the envelope and read:

'Dear Hazel,

I know you're mad. But you don't know the full story and I can only hope you this letter gets to you . I don't think you realise how important this is - not only to me, but to you too (even if you don't think so). It's a long story, but I won't be able to sleep at night until I know that you don't see me as some stupid idiot.

Every story starts with a beginning and even though you already know this much, I may as well say it anyway...well, we were best friends. My mum used to say we were two peas in a pod...and I can't blame her really. There's no other way to put it. We did almost everything together and that was the way I liked it. Yeah, we didn't have many other friends, but we had each other and that's all that really mattered, right? I'd be lying if I said I only thought of you as a friend. There were many times when I wished we were more...I used to stay up all night and think about all the little things I loved about you. I would sit there simply waiting for school to come around again so I would be able to see you again. Remember that time when we were climbing those big pine trees in my backyard? And our hands touched...you've probably forgotten about this, because it was just for a second, maybe less...but in that moment, as our fingers briefly intertwined, I felt as if everything was going to be alright and as if all my worries had just...disappeared. I looked you in the eyes, which sparkled like sapphires in the moonlight, and I wanted to kiss you. I almost did...but something inside me told me not to. I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I just couldn't do it. Hazel, you're the only person that knows the real me. The only person that has been there for me at my worse and always supported me.

So then came x-factor...you've always encouraged me, told me I could do anything if I set my mind to it. And when you said something, no matter how crazy it sounded, I would believe you. I auditioned...I remember the night before, we had a 6 hour phone call. (Another thing I loved about you...the way you could keep talking and talking about everything and anything and I would never get bored.) The sound of your voice was a soothing remedy for my nerves and so when we arrived at the audition together, I felt somewhat confident. We stood in the long line for what seemed like hours, but you waited with me. You refused to give up. "Maybe we should just go home. It's getting late...this is just a waste of time." I had said, biting my lip. But you shook your head. "No. We have to stay." you replied firmly. And so we did. Finally, after what had seemed like years, we walked into the actual audition centre. You stood in the audience and watched me sing. I couldn't keep my eyes off you the whole time...I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been singing about you...To you. 'Isn't she lovely...' You are quite lovely. 'Isn't she wonderful?' You are wonderful...you're everything I've always wanted and needed. I just was too young and stupid to realise it...

I got through the auditions and boot camp and they put me in a band with 4 other random boys. We came 3rd in the whole competition, which was pretty overwhelming. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have even auditioned. I owe everything to you, Hazel - I honestly do. It was all fun for a while. But there was always a weird feeling in my heart that would never go away. It took me a while to realise that it was because I missed you. We began seeing each other less and less as I went on tour and left you behind, in Chesire. And I never texted you...or when I did all it said was 'hello' or something daft like that. But there's a reason for that. I can't exactly tell you in this letter, because this could be tracked and we could both get in a lot of trouble...but if we ever meet up in person, I promise I'll tell you then, ok, Hazel? But please just trust me for now. I need you to.

Anyway, then came Chelsea. Chelsea Green was my worst nightmare and after I left Chesire, I never thought I'd see her again...but I was wrong. As soon as I became mildly famous, Chelsea came running to me, pretending that everything that had happened over the past few years in high school had all just been a joke. She had never meant it when she had called me a 'hopeless idiot' or you an 'annoying moron'. "Harry, it was all just fun and games! I never meant anything of it..." Chelsea pleaded. But I could see through her lying mask. I knew all she wanted was to leech off my fame; to cause all the controversy possible and to ultimately ruin my career. Yet I played along, inviting her over to my house for tea, where we talked about nothing and she giggled. A few weeks later, the boys and I had been invited to Paris to promote something and Chelsea begged for me to take her too. I said no at first, but after a while she got annoying and so I just let her.

We were at a promotional party, with millions of cameras waiting for a controversial move that would spark the next rumour, when suddenly Chelsea ran up to me out of nowhere and planted a kiss right onto my lips...it sounds stupid, I know. Why didn't I stop her? Why didn't I say something? Why didn't I push her away...? Because I knew it would cause a bigger deal if I made something of it. I thought I had to play along. I smiled falsely as all the cameras flashed brightly. "This is bound to be on the front page tomorrow," Chelsea grinned into my ear, with the hint of an evil laugh. I nodded playfully, until I realised...what she had just said began to sink in and my hands trembled. If this was on the front page tomorrow, you were bound to see. Yes, you were the first person I thought about when this was all happening. I knew how you would react and I couldn't bear to have you think of me as some traitor. But it was too late. The next day all the magazines had the picture of Chelsea and I splashed on the covers. I eventually was allowed to call you (I'll tell you more when we meet), but as I thought, you rejected my call. And you had every right to.

But Hazel, you need to understand that this wasn't completely my fault and the kiss really meant nothing.

Well, I ought to stop writing now. I just hope you can see why this all happened. And I hope we can organise a day to meet up so I can fully explain everything.

By the way, please excuse my handwriting... My hands are shaking as I write this and I'm on the verge of tears. But that's not important.

I love you,

xx Harry.'

.

Hazel blinked furiously as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Looking closely into the envelope, she saw a small piece of paper and further inspection saw that it was a part of a page that had been ripped out of a dictionary. It read:

skinny love ; (n) when two people love each other, but are too shy to admit it.