Mystery of the determination of lost

Part title

If by some chance would you do it again?
Those words were spoken to me one late night a few days ago by someone very close to me.
I would scream and shout just to get you out, your thoughts always invading mine I thought that night.

No one could know my little secret, my true life.
If one believed in me and my goodness, well rip them, I'm screwed. All these fools forgetting me not, I swear if I had a chance i might do it better and right sometimes.

My brain is a collage of classic failure with a blamed set date , a horrible reconception of my lose thoughts all jumbled up in my mess of a head.

I want to believe that I change my word if I went back and tried, but could I truly find and think about what's good for me , through all this crap weighing me down?
Hmmm

A/n

Thanks for reading , don't worry it will all make sense soon.....
Ilysm :)
Have a great day/night.