Fragments (ON HIATUS)

Chapter 4: Tiny Breaths

Alice PoV-
I've never been so happy and had it taken away so fast in a very long time. "D-D-Dad? Wh-What a-are you d-doing here?" I stuttered, taking steps backwards until I was against the wall as he stood up. "Hi, sweetheart. How have you been? It's been so long since you called!" It was fake, it was all fake. The bastard was a devil in a bad disguise. He opened his arms for me to give him a hug and I was too busy shaking with fear. "Where's my hug," he asked me in a subtly dangerous tone, "darling." I thought that the day I left would be the last time I'd have to see him. My luck always fails me in the end.
He said that he was going to check in at his hotel and drop off his bags. Please get hit by a truck, please get hit by a truck and don't come back, I wished as he shoved passed me. I felt like I was shaking, I took off upstairs and closed the bedroom door. "1...2...3....4..." I trailed off as I breathed. I grabbed at my phone that read 12:47PM on the lock screen. I shot Keith a text. 'What the fuck do you mean you're dad's there.' He replied.
'What do you think I mean?! I got back here to find him having fucking coffee with my aunt.'
'Stay away as much as possible.'
'Why did i think of that🙄?' I sent sarcastically.
'I'm serious, Red. And for fuck's sake, tell your fucking aunt.' I quickly weighed my options, my birthday is next week. She can't make me do anything anyway... I'll tell her- "Alice, sweetie? Can you open the door?" She asked me from outside.
"I'm allowed to close my freaking door, Diane." I do call her by her first name sometimes but not often.
"I have the key for the door, you can open it or I can." She told me, I got up and clicked the lock so she could open it. I scratched my wrists out of habit and anxiety. "What's the matter with you? You act terrified of your own father?" She asked sternly.
"How you've gone 12 years without seeing how bad it is is crazy." I thought out loud by mistake.
"What are you talking about?" She sighed and sat down on my bed. I felt something damp beneath my finger tips and relief flooded me briefly. The truth was coming out now I guess.

She was shocked to say the least with large amounts of disbelief. "You're father may have his problems but he's no abuser."
"How would you fucking know if you only visit once a year?" She was quiet, looking as if she were thinking. She said that if I was going to just go out saying this, I'd need proof. By this point my blood was boiling and my leg was shaking with anxiety. "You want proof?!" I asked, my eye ready to twitch.
"Why do you think I'm so anxious all the fucking time? Why do you think I was fucking cowering against the motherfucking wall? Why else would I be doing that if I weren't terrified to go near him?" My stuttering was obvious, I was so angry and nervous and sad all at once. "Where do you think I got all the bruising most of your visits?!" I asked, my heart rate slowed down again and she was staring at me in shock. She answers hesitantly, "I always though you were being a kid, kids get injured all the time so I assumed-"
"Your assumptions gave me a lifetime of nightmares, thank you."
"Is that why you're up so early?" She asked me, she looked so upset but almost like it was with herself.
"I wake up terrified at 2AM usually because I'm afraid some high lunatic is going to throw me down a flight of stairs for not making breakfast." I answered, I slowed my erratic breathing more until I was calm. "What's that?" She looked to my arm, I noticed blood had dripped down to my finger tips. My heart dropped and I crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh please don't tell me..." She started saying before trailing off.
"I need the bathroom." I stood abruptly before getting up and walking in a quickened pace to the bathroom. It was empty luckily and I leaned against the sink and just took a few tiny breaths. I wiped away a handful of stray tears. I shifted off the counter and turned on the sink water. I splashed some water on my face and took in a shaky breath. I began to clean off my wrist that was covered in blood. I carefully scrubbed the drying substance until it was gone. I heard a gasp a few feet away. I turned my head to see Riley and Amber. "Oh c'mon!" I shouted and stomped my foot. They were in front of the door jam immediately. "We heard the conversation." Amber said quietly.
"That wasn't for either of you to hear and if you let anyone else hear it, I'll have you skinned and tethered to a flag pole." I snapped before pushing passed them. I slammed the door of my temporary bedroom and began to pace. Why can't I ever have a nondramatic life? Why can't I just lead a perfectly normal life? Why, why, why?! I'm a good person, I think, what did I do to deserve such a fucked up life. My thoughts were overpowering every inch of me.

        Keith hasn't called me in two days for whatever reason, I've left the matter alone. He mentioned going on his little Vegas trip so I could only guess that he was there. I was laying in the grass of Aunt Diane's front yard with Riley and her friends. "Bri, have your parents opened the pool yet?" Mikey asked with her arms crossed over his eyes.
"They took the cover off last week, it just got cleaned. Why?"
"Why do you think?" He asked her.
"I'm sure it's fine. Let's go." She shrugged and we started getting up. I was hesitant about the idea, I went inside with the other girls. They went upstairs to get dressed, I lagged behind slightly. "C'mon, Al!" Riley shouted from her room and I trudged up the steps. "Well? Get dressed." She told me and I pursed my lips.
"I don't really... Want to?"
"Why?" I don't want to show my scarred hips and thighs. "Just don't feel like it."
"Well you looked great in the bikini you bought the other day so I don't see the problem with getting dressed." I was wearing cover-up shorts for that. I sighed and shifted off the wall I was leaning on.
          I looked in my full-length wall mirror and cringed at what I saw. I liked this better when I first bought it. I traced the marks on my legs and sighed sadly. "Hey, you ready to- you ok?" Amber asked, coming into the room. I shrugged and reached for my cover up. I slipped it on and tied my hair in a ponytail before following them. They'd make fun of me if they saw my legs, just like those girls back home. Just like my father. Just like everyone else. I refuse to let this happen to me this summer, I need some friends. I watched as they all excitedly ran ahead of me, leaving me to drag my feet the rest of the 200 feet. "Hey, think fast!" I heard and turned to see a basketball flying towards me. I caught it, just barely but I caught it, I saw two boys in wheelchairs playing basketball. "Hey, you one of Bri's friends?" He asked as he wheeled over to take the ball back.
"I-I guess."
"Cool, I'm her brother. Call me Ken and that's Christian." He gestured to the boy waiting impatiently. I nodded. "Nice to meet you, I'm Alice." I said with a slight stammer.I heard Bri shout for me and I waved goodbye to Conner before jogging to the backyard. I immediately felt water across my face as all of them jumped in at once. "Watch the book!" I warned as I hid my Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone book behind my back. I was going to reread all of the books while I have all this damned time on my hands.
I sat down, not taking off my coverup and reading."Get in the pool, Lame-O." Drew shouted and tried to splash me.
"My tattoo is still not supposed to get wet." I lied.
"That heart? You've had that for like a month." Riley observed and I rolled my eyes.
"I mean the other one. And I've had the heart for two months, thank you very much."
"You have another one?" Kayla raised an eyebrow and I absently nodded. I shrugged off my cover up and exposed my usually covered collar bone. It still was slightly red still, Trav told me it was because of the location but whatever. "Your boyfriend is corrupting you."
"Whatever." I shrugged and with a crooked grin. I sat down and read my book.

My phone rang and I picked it up to slurred yelling and I nearly dropped my phone on the cement. "You lil bitch, trin' ta get me locked up ferever." He cursed at me as I swung my legs over the lounge chair so my feet were on the ground. I was silent as he cursed me out and told me how worthless I was. I studied the ground, waiting for something to finally come out of my mouth. "Leave me alone... Stop calling me! Stop talking to me! Leave me alone!" I shouted, the guys didn't hear me over Bri's pool-side stereo. "You wait, little girl, one more thing you do... I'll kill you." He threatened and I felt my breathing constrict. A hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped, letting out a short squeak. "Hey, chill. You ok? You look like something's wrong?" It was Kayla.
"I-It's nothing. Nothing to worry about," I told her before thinking to myself, I hope.