I Got The Boy

I saw your picture in a
paper honeymoon in Jamaica
she's a lucky girl

  Steve was sitting in the front row at Bucky's wedding, he's imagined this day time and time again, but in his mind he's always the one standing up there with Bucky.

  But this isn't his wedding, it's Natasha's and Bucky's, he sees their matching grins as they gaze into each other's eyes, he thinks about how lucky Natasha is.

You look so grown up in
your black tux from a ball
cap in a pick up
seems like another world

  He watches Bucky standing up there in his tux and all of a sudden he looks so different from the boy that he used to know from another lifetime, that 16 year old boy is all grown up now.

You and me and
our big dreams falling in love
we were two kids
in the backseat
all fearless and young

  He remembers them lying in a grass field talking about how they were going to grow old together, raise a family, possibly get a dog, they had no worries and they were too brave for their own good, they were two young boys in love.

I got the first kiss
And she'll get the last
She's got the future
And I got the past

  He remembers one night when all of a sudden he got a powerful wave of courage and couldn't hold back his feeling for Bucky and longer, he remembers leaning forward and crushing their lips together.

  But now as he watches Bucky and Natasha kiss, that feels like a lifetime ago.

  He and Bucky had the past together but Natasha will have the future with his first love.

I got the class ring
She got the diamond
And wedding band
I got the boy
And she got the man

  He remembers one night when Bucky had gotten down on one knee with a wide cocky grin on his face in the privacy of their apartment.

  He pulled out a little plastic ring that he found and promised Steve that one day it would be a real one. Steve didn't care about the ring, he said yes to their dream.

  Now as he watches Bucky slide a real diamond ring onto Natasha's finger, he feels a pang of longing.

  He reminds himself that he got the boy with the young features and mussed hair, and she got the man who's seen a lifetime of pain but still had that cheeky smile that he's always adored.

Yeah there's an old you
That I knew Fake IDs
To get into
Those spring break bars

  He remembers the boy that was always up to no good and always doing something he shouldn't be, he remembers being dragged to clubs that he knew weren't allowed, but he went anyway because he loved Bucky and wanted to make him happy.

Back woods on a four wheel
Hanging on tight
I can still feel my racing heart

  He remembers the time they went hiking into the woods to have a picnic, but a quarter way through he had trouble breathing and Bucky carried him on his back the rest of the way, he remembers wrapping his arms around his muscular chest and laying kisses  onto his neck.

  That was the first time they did anything more than kissing, for some reason Bucky thought it would be romantic to lose their virginities in the woods, and he was right, but afterwards they both had sticks and leaves and very odd places.

  He looks up at Bucky's dazzling face, this is that boy but with a much more defined face and more stubble.... Getting married to someone that wasn't him....

And now you're cleaned up
With a hair cut
Nice tie and shoes

  He looks at Bucky's appearance, his neatly styled hair and faint stubble and all of a sudden he seems so different from that boy who every morning would run fingers through his hair, shave off the beginnings of stubble and go off to work.

If thing were different
And I had a choice
Which would I choose

  He often questions himself as to if he'd want the old Bucky back if it could ever happen.

  He loves Bucky no matter what, he always will, he's happy for him, but if he could change anything, he'd change the fact that for the last 70ish years Bucky has been living an awful life.

  Some nights when he's feeling especially lonely he wishes that he had someone to hold and that Bucky could've come home to him, but he always tries to push that thought out of his head.

I got the first kiss
And she'll get the last
She's got the future
And I got the past

  He remembers the first time that he knew he was in love with Bucky, but he also remembers the first time he realized that Bucky was in love with Natasha.

  He remembers when Bucky really came back to himself, he and Natasha were sitting beside his bed, Steve thought that when he opened his eyes, it would be Steve he'd want, but instead his eyes immediately turned to Natasha  and he started to cry, whispering over and over Natalia, I'm so sorry.

  That was when he realized that he and Bucky had a past, but Bucky's future was with Natasha.

I got the class ring
She got the diamond
And wedding band
I got the boy
And she got the man

  He remembers when Bucky proposed to Natasha, they had a conversation before when Bucky told him that he's sorry and that he'll always love Steve, but he can't loose Natasha. Steve never had the heart to make him choose, but he could never let him go.

  Natasha said yes immediately, and Bucky had one of the biggest smiles on his face that Steve has ever seen.

  Steve still had the memories of a brave boy, but Natasha gets to hold the man every night.

  I got the first kiss
And she'll get the last
We each got something
The other will never have

  Sometimes he thinks it would've been better if they had never started anything at all, but other times he realizes that he owns those memories, and he'll always have that for himself, just like Natasha will always have Bucky.

   I got the long hair, hot head
She got the cool
And steady hand
I got the boy
And she got the man

He and Bucky used to be perfect for each other before the war, they were soulmates, but after the war they both changed, now, he and Natasha are perfect for each other, they've seen the darkest parts of the other and shared more experiences then Steve would care to know, so he doesn't blame Bucky for leaving him, besides, he'll always be his best friend.

I got the boy
And she got the man