Deleted Sanity

Chapter 1

I rub at my wrist, the edges of my medical bracelet digging into my skin. I shift my feet, anxious to get this over with. I do this every day, I wake up and I stand in line for my pill. The small white and blue tablet that is supposed to make me less crazy. The lady in front of me is suffering from withdrawals, from what? I don't know. Her fingers are twitching, her shoulders tense and her small frame slightly shaking. She must have struggled to get here, we all did, the finger shaped bruises on her arms will fade soon enough. The line moves and I take the pill from Nancy's hand, she sends me an apologetic look and I just shrug like I always do, swallow the pill, stick my tongue out, and move away.

It's like when they designed this place, they forgot that color even existed. They made an unconscious choice to drive the already insane even crazier. I walked into B102, the same room I've sat in for three years. I sat down and rubbed my wrist again. I hear footsteps come through the door and Isaac walks in. Isaac is my person and I am his. He declared this two days after we met, he stole this from Grey's Anatomy because it was the last television show he ever watched before being sent here. It doesn't matter where he got it from though, because it fits us. He is my person and I am his.

"Do you think that Drew will finally explain why he cries all the time?" He asks, a piece of his blonde hair falling into his face before he blows it back upwards.

"Nah, he'll be too busy crying." I said, I catch Isaac throw his hands up in exasperation from the corner of my eye.

"I know that, but do you think Dr.Taylor will get something out of him?" He asks.

Drew Meyers is fifteen years old and never stops crying. He started crying when he got here and hasn't stopped crying since. I've tried to talk to him, we all have, but you can't hold a conversation with someone who cries every fifteen seconds. No one knows why he cries, maybe because he is stuck here with us, maybe it's because something horrible happened but he never says anything, he doesn't talk. He just shuts his eyes and hold his hands to his head, crying, sometimes it's sad, sometimes its angry. It's never happy. You can' be happy here.

Everyday we come to B102, the six of us, Drew, me , Isaac, Mya, Elliot, and Payton. Dr.Taylor says were supposed to let our feelings out and learn to adapt. I think she should jump off a cliff. It's all very stupid, none of us talk, talk much anyways. She just sits there and asks us questions, moving on from one blank face to the other.

"I don't know Isaac, maybe, who knows?" I said, watching as the rest of the group files in.

"Good morning group, how is every one doing?" Dr. Taylor asks. Her long platinum hair falling down to her waist, spectacles cleverly placed halfway down her nose, white jacket snug to her body. She's probably around thirty, who knows, she speaks kind but the hard blue of her eyes, make it hard to believe she is warm inside at all.

No one responds.

"Okay then, how about we start with you Dylan?" She asks, her cold blue eyes turning to me.

"No." I said, and then looked at the wall.

"Not sharing means no chocolate pudding when you arrive at the dining hall." She threatens.

I shrug, Drew sniffles.

"Fine." She says surly, "Drew?" She asks. I feel Isaac tense in anticipation.

Drew cries even more while shaking his head.

"Drew I think its--," She gets interrupted because Drew lets out another loud wail.

"Dr. Taylor I think it would be best if you moved on." Elliot says, giving her a bright smile.

"Yes of course, Drew, we'll try next time," She says smiling, "Thank You Elliot."

Isaac's shoulders drop back down in disappointment, I had to stifle a laugh from seeing the forlorn look coming across his face. He sees me and pinches my thigh, Dr. Taylor catches it and turns her attention to him.

"Isaac, how about you? Feel like sharing?" She asks, giving him a pointed look.

"Actually I do Ma'am." He says grinning, this catches everyone off guard but Dr. Taylor looks pleased.

"Okay, well continue." She says, leaning forward in curiosity.

"Yes ma'am, okay so I usually get some pretty vivid dreams right?", He says and Dr. Taylor nods, "well last night I had a dream that some crazy baboon kept scratching his butt and trying to get me to sniff his finger! Can you believe that! He wouldn't stop chasing me, and I kept running and finally he got really close and then I woke up! What does that mean Dr. Taylor? I'm scared." He says, fear tremoring into his voice.

I looked around the room and I could tell I wasn't the only one who knew Isaac was acting like an idiot. Elliot had this huge grin on his boyish face, Payton was trying to hide her smile behind her long purple hair, Drew had momentarily stopped crying, and Mya was biting her fingernails so she wouldn't laugh.

Dr. Taylor cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. "Well, Isaac, I have no idea, perhaps it was just a weird dream?" She says, uncertainty laced in her words, she looked like she wanted to shoot him with a horse tranquilizer.

"I hope so Dr. Taylor, I hope so." He says, nodding nervously. As soon as Dr. Taylor looks away, I open up my palm and he high fives me.

Group ended and we were allowed 45 minutes of free time before we had to go to the dining hall for lunch. Me and Isaac decided to play cards in the lounge, that's what we always do. I have known Isaac for three years and on the second day I met him, I found out, that he was a huge gossiper.

"I heard Nurse Nancy is having an affair with Nurse James." Isaac says as he tries to shuffle the cards.

"Where did you hear that?" I sighed, taking the cards from him, he's a hopeless cause.

"I didn't hear it from anyone but I heard Nurse James call her pretty and she blushed." He says as if he's uncovered some hidden truth.

"Isaac, Nurse James and Nurse Nancy are married, you helped make them a congratulations card." I said flatly.

"Oh I forgot." He says dumbly, scratching behind his ears. "What if I told you?"

"Told me what?" I asked, lining my cards in order.

"That Dr. Taylor likes Elliot, would that be old news?" He asked triumphantly.

"No, it would be stupid news, everyone likes Elliot, he's just likable." I said, slamming one of my cards down before he could put down his.

"No I mean, she like like's Elliot." He said, grinning.

"That would be gross, but you think so?" I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

"I know so did you see her smiling at him in group? You'd think he was Jesus!" He exclaimed.

"Well I hope not, I don't think Elliot would go for her, even if she did try anything." I said, smiling as I slammed down my victory card.

"I guess not." He says, scowling as he scrambles all the cards back into a pile.