He tore the cigarette from my hand and butted in out in the side of the railing outside our home, in London, one we’ve just recently brought together.
“What are you doing?” I asked, shock and annoyance washing over me.
“These things will kill you.” He growled, throwing it over the edge of the fourth story block we lived on. “It’s a filthy habit.”
“Okay, well since we’re talking about filthy habits, why don’t we count some of yours?” I glared at him, we hadn’t been going so well lately, we’d argued almost every day and night for the last few weeks, and it seems like every time one of us went to open our mouths, the other would snap and go off the ledge.
“You drink.”
I’d tried to stop smoking, but living with him had become so stressful, I’d started sneaking out every time he left the flat or whenever he was asleep or otherwise preoccupied.
“You also can’t help but always end up in trouble-”
“Those things are going to kill me.”
“Please, this is nothing to do with my health, so don’t try to always bring it back to that. You’re just pissed off, because you’re not in control.”
“It’s always about your health, god Miette, for a second could you just pretend that you know I actually care. Because I do.”
I rolled my eyes.
“God, there you go again. You’re a child, you act like a little kid, always stomping your foot or huffing and rolling your eyes at me.”
“Well then stop treating me like one. Stop looking down on me.”
I shoved my hands into my pockets and my hand slid over my half gone deck of smokes, I wanted, more than anything to just light one up and blow it in his face, but I didn’t want to push him, we were so close to breaking point, already.
He was infuriating, and I wanted him to just stop lecturing me, just for once.
“Mie-”
“God, just fuck off Harry, I don’t want to deal with this right now. All we’ve done is fight, and fight. I’m just so sick of fighting with you.”
“You think I like being like this? Because I don’t. For once I’d like to come home and not have to argue with you.”
“You never have to do anything. You just do.”
“Miette, just listen to me, okay?”
I rolled my eyes again, but no huff was involved, I narrowed my eyes for a second before looking at him straight on, granting him the time to speak his mind.
“I love you, I actually do, and I’ve never lied to you when I’ve said it before. I’m not lying now, either. And I want to be happy with you, I do,” he took my hands in his, pulling them out from where they were buried deep inside the confines of my jacket and clasped the tightly between us, “but I can’t be supportive of this. I can’t be supportive of the one thing that might mean I lose you. Everyday we’re going through battles, I know you’ve heard what the public says about us-”
“But it doesn’t matter what they say-”
“Please, just let me finish?” he asked so softly, so sweetly, and I bit my lips just to stop myself. “You’re only nineteen, I’m twenty four, you’re still just a baby, and I know it’ll seem like I’m trying to be controlling and overprotective, but I’m just doing everything I can to keep you in my life. And whether you like it or not, this is your life now, you may not care what other people say, but I do. Everyone sees us, the whole world knows about us. I just need your help on this one.”
My face dropped, my hard façade melting away, in just a matter of moments.
“I love you, too.” I murmured.
“Look, if you want to keep smoking-” he sighed, “If it makes things easier for you, then go ahead, but can we please just stop fighting?”
“I’m sorry, I just-” I sniffed, pulling one of my hands out of his, just to rub at my eyes, where tears started to overflow, “You’re never home, and I get scared, and I want to be happy for you, but I can’t, you’re out having a life, without me.”
“I’ll try to stay home more, if that’s what you really want?”
His knees bent just a tad, so he could look into my eyes, being at my height now, then he dropped down to ground. “I’ll never leave you again, if you ask me too.”
I smiled, a sloppy weak smile, but it was genuine.
“But I just have one thing to ask in return?”
I bit my lip again, a nervous habit. “And what is that?” I murmured, my heart pounding so loud inside my chest, I knew what was coming.
“Marry me?”
