Goodnight My Angel

1.

The picture is of what Eva's wearing for her birthday. I'll show characters pics as it goes on but not Eva's because I don't know if I'm the only one like this but I like to imagine myself as the main person. Now on with the story, hope you enjoy. It's going to be slow to develop but I hope it's worth the read in the end. Thank you xoxo

Boom.

It's kind of like my heart is being exploded into a billion pieces right now. I can't say I like it or enjoy the feeling, it hurts. Although hurt is a feeling I enjoy. I'm not some Christian Grey type of girl, I'm just used to hurt. Hurt seems to be the only...familiar feeling I know. The only consistent in my life. The only predicted thing in my life. It's just, as a human being, generally I like familiar, consistent, and predictable.

Backing up to the reason why my heart shattered like glass in pieces so small and transparent that there is no way on God's green earth that they will ever be picked up let alone out back together. The reason I'm physically, mentally and emotionally numb. The reason that is simply put,life...or at least how I know it. So here it is, the life of Eva. Me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I hear a knock on my door and my mom comes in.

"Happy birthday, my Eva!!" Oh yeah...it's my birthday. 18. How excited. Only not really since I've been an adult basically by the time I was 10. I'm not talking, oh I had to make some Kraft Mac and cheese for dinner sometimes because the parents weren't home. I'm not talking I babysat my younger siblings more than average. Although for that example, I'd have to have siblings. What I'm saying is this is not an exaggeration. Im talking bills, job, the whole nine. And if that doesn't scream an adult to you then I might just scream at you...period. Because this shit is stressful and not that I was abnormally stronger than most 10 year olds but I stronger than most 10 year olds. I could handle it, hell, I had to. Oh yeah, so I'm 18 now...only difference is I can now vote and have sex legally. Not that I've had sex. But I have.

"I got you a little something that I want to give you before the party." I mean having one person over is not necessarily a party, but there will be cake so label it as you please.

She sends me a weak smile as she says this while handing me an envelope. Although the smile is weak, it looks strong on her tired, weak face. Although the smile is weak, it's radiant and beautiful and fills the room.

"Aww thanks mom, but you know you didn't have to." I say giving her a hug and I dont want to let go of the warm, endearing embrace but she shoos me away obviously excited to see me open it. So i reluctantly pull away and taking the envelope smiling at her.

"Okay, now open it already!" I roll my eyes and open the envelope to reveal a cruise to the bahamas leaving tomorrow. Having a summer birthday actually is the best. No winter baby trying to make themselves feel better can tell me otherwise.

My smile fades for a number of reasons.
1) We don't have money. Period. We barely kept our house. She could tell me she was fucking Harry Houdini and I would still not understand how she managed to drag that money out her hat. It simply does not happen and even if it did I rather it not go to me and go towards needs.
2) There is only one ticket which means I'm in this alone. She's not coming which means she's getting worse.
3) Seriously, where the fuck did this money come from.
4) Lastly, we never do anything this special on birthdays. We have this unspoken agreement to never go all out on birthdays because I think a house over our head and food on the table is the best damn gift of all.