Jihoon knows it's not meant to be. Actually, he knew it wasn't meant to be since the beginning, but it doesn't stop him from feeling. It actually makes the feelings grow stronger. He sits by the windowsill and looks out the window. He can see them, Seungcheol and Jeonghan, close to each other. He knows that watching is not the best thing to do, but what is he to do? He endures the stab he feels in his heart whenever he see's their secret glances and their playful touches. He pretends not to see them, but he's caught the two of them on various occasions. It hurts, of course, it will always hurt and no matter what he does, it will continue this way. He should be in his recording studio, not watching them from his place at the second story room, from his window, but he stays. He remembers very well when he fell for Seungcheol and he remembers equally as well when he realized he was out of his reach.
He loves Seungcheol, but that has no meaning. He's in love with Seungcheol, but Seungcheol is not his and he knows he will never be his. It's the cold hard truth and he knows it. He's accepted it. Seungcheol belongs to Jeonghan and he's spent way too much time crying over that fact, but he's accepted it. At first, he had hope that maybe, just maybe Seungcheol could see that Jihoon felt for him what he felt for Jeonghan, but Jihoon knows that it's better this way. At least he can be friends, even if they can't be more, but Jihoon will treasure their friendship because that's all he will get in return.
Jihoon remembers every single moment he thought they had, but it seems that the same does not go for Seungcheol. Jihoon can't help but feel as if he's been played at. He goes to sleep at night thinking that maybe tomorrow Seungcheol will have a change of heart. Maybe this is a nightmare and he's actually just in a depressing dream, but this is reality and there's nothing he can do about it. He wants to be angry at them both, but he can't because it's not their fault that Jihoon feels this way. He feels as if this is some cruel joke played by fate. What has he done to deserve this?
Like the old cliche goes, If you love someone let them go, and it's funny actually because Jihoon's never actually gotten that phrase, not until now. He used to think that, it was something people would just say to ease their pain, but Jihoon now knows that it's not true.
Jihoon raises himself from his place by the window and leaves to where he can't see them anymore. He'll continue watching their banter. Jihoon will continue to watch as they share a loving gaze, something Jihoon craves for himself. He'll smile, he'll cry, he'll hurt, and he'll mask his pain, but it won't stop him from feeling. He'll endure the pain though, he'll pretend that he doesn't want to be on the other side of Seungcheol's warm smile and loving touches, he'll do it for Seungcheol.
Jihoon now knows what the cliche means and he hates it, but because he loves Seungcheol so much, he will let him go, he will watch from he stands as he and Jeonghan becoming even closer.
He'll let him go, even if in the end, it will kill him, but he'll do it, he'll do it for Seungcheol.
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As The Cliche Goes...
FanfictionJihoon knows it's not meant to be. Actually, he knew it wasn't meant to be since the beginning, but it doesn't stop him from feeling.