She is on my mind.
The moment I open my eyes, I am engulfed with worry for her, until I feel her gently breathing against my chest. Her scent hits my nose, and it makes me smile, and I move closer to her, wrapping my around her to protect her from the sunlight escaping through the blinds, stroking her hair to let her sleep peacefully.
I can't stop her from intruding my thoughts.
But again, I never could. She makes it impossible, really. I knew it was going to happen, the moment I had pinned her against the wall of our class, and trapped those rosy, sweet lips between mine. It was rough, and my hand had found its way around her throat, holding her in place. I saw the fear in her eyes when I pulled away, and my fingers crept up to stroke her cheek, driving her fear away with my goofy smile.
I let her in.
Telling her everything. I am honest, in my word and my love. I am always there for her. Even if I am miles away, I make sure to check whether she is fine or not. I laughed, when she puffed her cheeks at me, just because I asked the question for the millionth time in a day. What can I do? I want her to be happy, and safe.
She was my best friend.
I held her hand as she went through hard times. Hugged her when she needed one, and gave her everything she needed. She listened to me, helped me through my own exams with those endless messages every time I came online.
I am dying...
... but she keeps me alive. Every morning, her beautiful face is the only thing that wakes me up. She is the one reason I work so hard, killing myself over and over with work so I can prove that I am worth all the pain she faces. Whenever I fail, her eyes and her hand in my hair were enough to get me back on my feet.
I want to say it out loud.
But I can't.
I was never enough.
All I was, was a filler in a soap opera.
I am confused.
She doesn't talk to me anymore. Nor does she acknowledge me, as a part of her life.
But what can I do?
I still love her. I vowed never to hurt her, and I won't.
I will just go through my day with a smile whenever she passes by. It may have lasted just a few months, but they were the best ones of my life. And if she ever needs me, I will be there.
No matter what, For, she will always be my little kitten.
