I don't know what to do.
My body's dragging under,
My head is still above.
I'm floundering, holding on,
Tight.
Suddenly, supports removed,
Yanked from my hands.
Can I float? Can I stay up
Alone?
I can sense them, they are
Near.
Yet they refuse to be seen,
They won't help.
Could they?
No.
Not really.
Did they leave?
Or did I
Let go?
I need help.
The hole inside,
It grows bigger.
A black hole,
A void,
A vortex,
A vacuum.
It hurts,
The pain.
It aches and burns and stings
In agony.
Oh, it aches.
I'm folding in on
Myself.
Does anyone notice?
I'm flattening,
Folding,
Like a paper doll.
That hurts too.
No one sees.
They're all blind.
They can't see the hole,
It's inside of
Me.
I'm drowning in myself,
Drowning in Blue,
Blue waters.
And I can't stop.
Everything hurts,
It's tight.
I can't breathe,
Can't think,
Can't smile
Anymore.
I'm a ghost,
Looked through,
Taken as Golden,
Rotting in Silver.
They don't know me.
I don't know me.
Colours, bright
They hurt,
But they work.
Pink, a smile, a rosy
Blush.
It keeps them away.
Keeps them satisfied.
That I am fine.
I'm not.
Do I want them away?
What do I want?
Will I ever know?
Purple, so bright,
Vibrant. Joyous, royal
Like jewels,
And Silver,
My rotting Silver.
Jewels are translucent.
Purple and Silver,
Translucent and rotting,
Me.
Then there's him.
Strangely enough,
I'm starting to feel,
To think,
That my hole,
My black, bleeding, aching hole,
Looks remarkably like him.
He can't fill it.
He won't.
Blue, gentle blue.
Angel blue.
I'm his angel.
He calls me his angel.
Blue is my agony.
Gold, what people see.
They think I'm Gold.
Gold is soft, malleable.
Gold can be manipulated.
They want me to be Gold.
Golden.
But I'm not.
I'm Purple,
And Silver, rotting Silver,
And Blue is my agony.
The hole, it feels
Like a suction
That's painfully sucking me in.
Why?
I don't know what to do.
