The Times I Went To Sephora

Walking through the double doors that led me inside of the mall. Then passing past the good old Barnes and Noble because today I was going to venture into uncharted territory or at least that's what it was for me. A place I passed every time I came to the mall but always wanted to walk in just to see just to smell just to be like the other girls. Finally I went in I was greeted so warmly that even threw my nervousness I replied "hey" yeah that was good that was cool. Nodding off my awkwardness I held my head high and traveled further into the unknown. I looked around breathing in all the smells  the cocoa, vanilla and the chatter of ppl talking about things I had no knowledge of. I waited unsure of what to do of what to be in awe of still absolutely clueless of what I was doing. Just thinking I should go the girls were laughing and smiling. The feeling of being all alone had never felt so real. I looked for a friend any one person as lost as me atlas I was all alone no was looking at me not even the beautiful women who worked at the place where I could explore and learn. So with with my ideals smashed I went back the way I came and the women before said "good bye have a nice" this time I didn't reply but nodded in return. The second time I made sure to research before going I googled products I could use from the store and I made of plan because people like me needed one  I went back determined to leave with one item  so I went up to the only product I knew how to use. The face mask it was the only I could remember from the research i had done grabbing the first i could fine i walked to the line reading the print it said would that my skin would glow with youth and vibrance. I got to the reisinger I smiled and the women greeted me and asked if I wanted to be a member a nodded yes this is it my last chance of being like the others I filled in all the  necessary information . And I was good to go I paid leaving thinking I was in only to discover joining was only the first part the points were what mattered. So I bought more things and researched more still craving that one on one real life experience from someone at the store to notice I was all alone or someone to notice I had bought the products without knowing how to apply them. Finally after months and months of no help I went to my only source of lifeline YouTube I lived and loved it I found my community amongst them but still no one helped in person. I watched all the videos but it didn't give me that feeling. You know the feeling the first time your mother shows you something. But my mother never showed me much like how to ride a bike no my bestfriend held that title she never showed me how to do my own hair because in the mornings when my hair needing to be done she would be off to work and she never used make up because she said that make up was for ugly girls. I wasn't ugly at least that's what my mother says so I guess I didn't need it feel like a girl. So the last time I went into the place where all society's ideals of beauty stem from I went up to one of the women and i said " i have been in this store so many times i can count how many on my hands and noon has offered to help me, why?". And the women frowned and said " have you ever asked for help?"  My face was hot and my palms were sweating and honestly i had never thought to ask. I was too shy too inexperienced to not that girl. " I've never thought to ask" i finally responded " excuse me" I said leaving through the doors. know i know to ask.