Lost In Thought......

I sit in my room night after night finding myself lost in thought.
Lost in thoughts of you.
Dreams of what once was.
Nightmares of what never will be.
For this I hate you.
I hate the memories of you...of us.
I hate the little sweet things you used to do.
I hate the way you could make my heart thunder in my chest.
I hate all the times you made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry.
I hate that I trusted you enough to catch me when I fell.
I hate the cute little way you said my name in that deep breathless quiet tone you have, the way it made me feel warm all over.
I hate that when I close my eyes, every time I close my eyes it's your beautiful face that I see.
I hate how much and how quickly I could get lost in those big hazel eyes of yours.
I hate the tears that streamed down my face the night you broke my heart into a billion pieces.
I hate that I let you make me into a fool.
I hate this because I trusted the beast.
I hate that you turned me cold.
I hate that you watched me fall and felt nothing.
I hate that you moved on and never looked back once.
But now I will tell you what I hate most of all about you.
Out of all the pain and heartbreak you caused...what I hate most about you is deep in my soul I know I can't hate you at all.

This was so hard for me to write. I hope you guys like it. :)