just business (l.t.)

fly away//

"Mom, I don't care what they say about gap years, I need this," I say as I stuff one more sweater into my suitcase and attempt to zip it up.

"Josie, you know how bad gap years look," she scolds, "Hardly anyone who takes a year off actually goes back, why do you even think that this is a good idea?"
I roll my eyes and I end up catching my finger in the zipper. Karma.

If only she knew a what I've been dealing with for the past couple months, then maybe she would understand.

"Well you know what, this is my choice and you really have no say as to what I do at this point," I cringe, still trying to close this god awful suitcase. "I think London will be good for me, a new change, new culture, if anything this will be a good learning experience for me" I hear her huff on her end because she knows that my mind is made up and there really is nothing that she can do about it.

"Fine. But don't come crying to me when it blows up in your face and you realize the mistake you're making," aaaand there it is, the bitter tone tampers off and I know I've won.

"And I want you to keep me updated, I expect you to call me often and-" I know she's trying to be stubborn in order to not cry, and I smile. I'm really going to miss her.

"Okay, Mom, I get it, I will. I'll be safe and careful and I will keep you updated, promise."

At this point I'm sitting on top of the suitcase in an attempt to crush everything inside.

"Alright, sweetie. I just want what's best for you, you know that."

"I know, Mom. But this is my life now, and I really need this, okay?"

The silence on the other end tells me just what I need to know, I know that she understands, but it's really hard for a hard-headed person like herself to not get her way.

"Okay, Mom, I really need to finish this packing, tell Dad I said hi for me."

"Alright, J, I love you," her soft voice sounds "I love you, too, Mom."

Throwing my phone on my pillow, I finally sit on my suitcase in triumph as I finally got it closed with only 5 broken fingers and a broken wrist.

I look over beside my alarm clock and grab the one-way ticket for London. Turning it over in my fingers, I think about me new life, and can only hope that this is for the best.

Everything is going to be alright. Things are going to turn up for me, this is my new start. It's all going to be alright.