2/3/13
Hey it's Brady again. I still remember when you used to call me Brady girl. And I was a super hero . You even made me a cape. That was fun . I know it was a month ago . But mom hasn't called . I've been on my own. Auntie and uncle moved and gave me the old place. I can barley sleep anymore . It keeps replaying in my head. Your screams . The glass shattering . Tires screeching blood dripping. The last thing you said . I know it's stupid but sometimes it calms me. I'll say it over and over again. Over all the sirens. The tiny weak whisper in my ear. "Remember you'll always be daddy's little girl" . You didn't say much after that. You didn't breath either. The therapist still ask about you. I won't talk to them. You always said . "What happens with dad stays with dad." And we would pinky promise not to tell mom. Like the day you gave me ice cream before dinner. And we told stories past my bedtime in the fort. People might think it's stupid. After all I am 17. You did everything . You taught me how I drive. I remember the Walmart parking lot. Being frustrated . But we went for fast food so it wasn't that bad. Then on my 16th hbirthday it was about 4 months before the accident. Mom didn't call. She didnt come home from work on time . Erika Cheyenne and faith said happy birthday . There my friends. I haven't talked to them. But she did come home. Drunk . It sucked . But you got me cupcakes and we watched the lion king . It was your favorite movie . It's still in the DVD player.
I miss you alot. I don't understand why you had to go. I just sit here looking at the fan. One of the blades was still missing. I'm sorry about that. I thought it would work. But it broke before it did . The rope was right enough . I knew why . I was afraid you'd be ashamed. But then I remember what you said . You were my everything . I still blame the man who hit you. I know you'd think it's stupid . But he killed you when I needed you. He took you away from me. He didnt even say sorry.
I really do miss you daddy . I know that you still love me. I never thought you'd go like this. But you're gone . Ripped away . I hope I can see you one day. I don't know if your in heaven. I bet you are. I wanna see you again.
Can you get into heaven if you kill yourself?
I Love you ,
-daddy's little girl