State Of Mind

New York Times Bestseller

Three months later...

"This is ridiculous!"

Thomas's boss, Henry, was enraged. He has his two best journalists in his office now, and he is offering them the chance of a lifetime, and they are refusing to accept. The old wiry man just doesn't understand, and his employees aren't doing anything to clear his confusion.

"Delilah, Thomas, this is a very important opportunity. Not just for you, but for the whole company."

Thomas looks away. He knows why Delilah refuses to work with him. He knows why she refuses to look at him right now. The thought fills him with rage, not at her, but at himself.

I shouldn't have given in.

For once, the thought was his, and he revels in that. He owned that thought.

"Sir, I don't understand why we can't work separately on this."

Delilah's voice is soft but steely, and the edge cuts Thomas like a blade. She eyes him discretely, seeing the pain in his eyes. She refuses to acknowledge it, because nothing can heal what he did to her.

Henry sighs. He runs a hand through his short, greying hair.

"I want you to work together on this. I'm your boss, and that's final."

Though he did not say it, Thomas and Delilah both know that they have been dismissed. Thomas rises quickly and leaves the room, not bothering to look back at the surely puzzled look on his boss's face. Delilah follows suit, but does so slowly. She cannot find Thomas in his cubicle, so she returns to her own and slumps down in her chair. She can finally breathe, the anxiety from seeing the man that violently raped her finally subsiding. Her entire body shakes with each breath.

Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale-

"Delilah."

Thomas tried to make his voice gentle, but he just spent ten minutes in the men's bathroom having a full blown anxiety attack. The voices are coming back, his vision is blurry, and he is not in the mood. He is not in the mood to feel the pain that comes with being around her. He is not in the mood for the throbbing erection he always gets after being near her. He is not in the mood for her hateful glare. And he is certainly, most definitely, not in the mood for the voices that tease and taunt him relentlessly. 

Delilah is about to respond when Thomas snaps. The voices are showing him more images of his tongue and fingers and penis inside of her and his member is painfully hard. He runs his hands through his hair, tugs roughly, then screams and punches himself in the groin. He continues hitting himself until he is no longer erect, and the frightened young woman is watching in horror. Young reporters, seasoned journalists, and even the janitors are all staring now.

His mind is fighting against him. The voices tell him to take out the frustration on something else, someone else, and he is screaming in agony. A hand clamps down on his shoulder, and in the back of his poor, broken mind he registers people speaking.

Come on son.

Is Thomas going to be okay?

What's wrong with him?

Oh no... This is bad.

Someone should tell Henry.

We might need to sedate him.

This could be a hit, like a New York Times bestseller.

The world is black to Thomas now. Everything is blurring together. Sounds, colors, lights, people. They are all meshing into one big mess, and before he blacks out he feels a sudden need to separate them all and organize them. His last thought is that maybe, maybe if he properly organizes all the colors and shapes and sounds and people he might regain some control over his life.