"No you can't go!" I scream from the top of the stairs
"I love you" he cries back
He's gone now, it's silent. I feel the room spin as my mum runs up the stairs at full speed I felt like my whole world had just walked out with him; my brother
Let me tell you what happened... After my dad moved out my mum met someone his name was Steve and he was nice to me.. Just not to Shaun he would shout at Shaun and treat him like he was our dad and Shaun didn't like that so he told mum: so mum hit him, she hit him so hard he left.. Walked out on me.
That night was when my first bit of innocence was stolen the first night I slit my wrists.. And I bloody loved the pain!
Fat...fat..FAT!! My mind wouldn't stop shouting it: telling me I need to stop.. I need to hide it before i get fatter.. Crips packets were my only hiding spot.
I would tell my mum that I was watching films so I could "eat" my food in my room and as soon as I shut my door I would hide three quarters of the food and ate the rest.. Only for the taste: then I would puke it up using a tooth brush and smile.
After a while people were noticing my bones more.. Telling me how I needed to eat or I would die! I couldn't sleep at night because my sticking out ribs would hurt when I laid on them .. I was weak... But at least I was skinny!
5 years I was anorexic! I didn't even know it till after the doctors told me I would of died if I carried on, to be honest maybe that's what I wanted! But they all stopped me! They watched me as I ate! People at school threw food at me I told me my mum should feed me! I was punished of my plate wasn't clean... So I fought it!! And I hit 7 stone just after I started secondary school... I finally started my period
-which I was told was never going to happen-
YOU ARE READING
that's just it.
RandomStruggles, pain and loss this is all I have felt since I was young but I'm still able to smile and do things I shouldn't.... My name is sharna and I'm 15 I have no innocence.....
