Anything For You

Blood And Rain

      The rain thundered down outside as I sat on Josh's couch wearing a pair of his old sweats and a hooded sweater that were way too big, but dry. I had the hood pulled all the way up and peered silently out from under it. I wrapped my arms around my knees and just stared into the fire. My mind was on auto pilot, and for the first time that I could ever remember, I was thinking of absolutely nothing. I was chilled right down to the bone. Shivers ripped violently through me at random. The tips of my fingers pulsated with each and every beat of my heart. I had done a quick wash job in Josh's laundry room, but I knew that I needed to attend to my cuts properly once I got home. The orange soap Josh had stung brutally, but it had managed to remove almost all of the black earth from my hands. My clothes and boots had been stained with mud and ground rot, and were far beyond repair. Josh and I had stripped off our ruined clothes and Josh took them out to the burn barrel, that he used for cardboard and old branches, out behind the garage. He had put some old newspaper and a few fallen limbs on top of the clothes to disguise the muddy mess. We had to wait for a sunny day to burn them though. Everything was far too saturated to burn tonight, even if we had wanted to. Besides, I wasn't even sure that the rain was ever going to let up.

     Josh came down the stairs, his face and hands washed but his hair remained filthy. We both had decided to just wash up quick and get back to my house to clean up the mess and dispose of any more evidence before my mom got home and discovered everything. We had not gone to such great lengths to cover up what had happened, to have it all come undone now.

     I rose up from where I had been perched on the arm of the couch, and walked over to Josh. His face was grim. I was terrified that things between us had changed. I slipped my hand into his, held my breath, and waited.

      His eyes cleared and he smiled down at me. "Don't worry Mae. We will finish this up tonight and no one will be any the wiser." He cupped my cheek with his hand. "I won't let anything else happen to you, okay?" His eyes searched mine. Pain was evident on his face. It radiated from his eyes as if they were on fire. It was clear that I was not the only one feeling as if they had failed.

     I tilted my head upwards and kissed his lips. He returned my kiss, his hands weaving themselves into my horribly disheveled hair. He pulled me closer to him, his kisses deepening. I reached my hands up and wound them around his neck, and held on for dear life. In that moment I knew that we would be all right. Nothing or no one would ever be able to come between us.

     Josh pulled back slightly and looked deep into my eyes. "We have to go." He whispered.

     I nodded and untangled myself from him. Neither of us wanted to face the daunting task that lay before us, but there was no way around it. If we did not hurry and my mom happened to come home, then all of our efforts to hide this grizzly mess would have been for nothing. We were in way too far over our heads to go back now.

     Josh draped one of his fall jackets over my shoulder. He took my hand in his, and led me out to his truck. He opened my door and I climbed inside. Once again, I stared out into the night as we drove, but this time I felt a bit better. I tried to block out all thoughts of Conner, and how his body was buried deep in the woods. He was tucked away, never to be heard from again, and I for one could not have been happier about that. I would not miss him. Sure, I felt horrible for being the one to end his life, but that was about all I felt sorry for. It was done in self defense after all. He would have killed me had I not killed him. I had just been a little bit quicker than he had. I was not sad that we would never see him again. In fact, that thought made me smile a little. Our family was finally free from the wrath of Conner.

     I held Josh's hand the entire way, and a kind of eerie calm washed over me. It felt as though a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I sighed heavily and let my head fall back against the seat.