Mend my heart (Natsu x reader)

Sowy

Hey guys it me nikki485365 and I'm REALLY sorry I haven't updated lately you see I've been dealing with some issues lately and sturf.Like I have or had a friend that I thought I needed to let go because I'm sorry to say this but she was acting REALLY rude.Like she would talk shit about my mom like RIGHT to my face like that and I would be like plz.So I tried,TRIED to let her down lightly and tell her nicely and she said she understood.But then she tries to be bffs with me but I ignored it because I'll admit I was in a stage and I already told her we weren't friends but then she starts acting all sad and saying "she hates me!"and shit like that and she started running home crying and I was getting more stressed day by day.My parents were saying why did she come home crying?or what's up with her lately?and I was like idk until one day I got so fed up.And I know this was cruel.I destroyed the birthday gift I was making for her.It was like a sketchbook that I would draw manga stuff that she liked.I tore every drawing out of it finished or not.And I started to get depressed on the inside but pretended to be strong on the outside.Its tough you know?Eventually I started to do self harm when I would tell my parents I went to bed and would just sit there with cuts on my arm crying thinking about ending it ALL.And by all I meant me.Its stupid I know but at that time I thought about it.I started to grow more insecure and depressed about my self because I just can't find a real friend.That girl was an example and she almost made one of my greatest friends leave me.And she has a watt pad but I won't say who she is but I want to say this to her
Dear you
I hope you read this realllly bad because I want to show u the pain I felt whenever I would see you run home crying everyday.I care about you.But do u care about me?!?!?!you say you do but you really don't.What kind of friend are you.You manipulated me and you made me feel horrible and like a monster for making you cry.But did do you feel bad about making me cry????????you are always addicted to your phone when you come texting your perverted boyfriend whose friends call you a whore and a slut.Who stood up for you when they said that me.I called your boyfriend and told him to tell his friend to suck it and told your boyfriend to shut the fuck up because he did not deserve you.And I hope that all your dreams come true and that you live life to the fullest.But you will have to live that life without me and I'M.SORRY.FOR.EVERYTHING
Im literally crying right now I have to go in really sorry for not updating I will try to soon.Please pray for me.And have a good day to all of you😊