Potato Murder Mystery

Let's Do This

Lucille and I, the glorious Llama, were going to save River from that ugly, stupid, mental dude Grusham.  I have my water gun with fresh boiled water and two smoke bombs. He'll pay for messing with my friend. I was a little shaky about letting Chevy drive, considering what happened to River a few months ago. Lucille assured me it was fine, until we got pulled over. The officer walked up to the car, signaled Chevy to open the window, and asked, "Where are you all going?" Lucille answered, "Well, Officer... Gustef? We were just heading to a... friend's house. May I ask where you are going?" "Well," Officer Gustef answered,"I'm heading to my house. To my wife and child. For dinner. My son has a friend over." I chimed in, "Wait a minute! Your last name is Gustef! YOUR CHILD IS EVIL!!!" I threw my smoke bomb onto the pavement. "STEP ON IT CHEVY!!!!!!!!" Chevy hit  the gas like it just called him retard. We went flying. I literally watched Elizabeth jump out of the moving car going 80 mph and stop right at Grusham's steps. She ran up the stairs and kicked down the door. We all followed her once Chevy stopped. Lucille pulled out her hand sanitizer, pecked Damundar on the cheek and squirted it in her mouth. Damundar ran up the stair almost at the speed of light and ran into the house. When I walked in, my mouth fell. Grusham's neck was slit and he was dead. River was free from his ropes, but on the chair and he was passed out. He was holding a bloody razor in his hand. I heard the upstairs toilet flush. Out came this chubby woman. She screamed. I don't know if it was at the 5 kids in her house - plus a dog, or her dead son. She ran down the stairs. She held Grusham's lifeless body and cried. Then running up the stairs came Officer Gustef. "Oh sugar honey iced tea," he exclaimed. He cried too. The woman cried, "Oh Mikhail! What will we ever do?" She started praying. Blood was still coming from Grusham's neck. "Backup, I need backup - 419 Hash St. ASAP!" Officer Gustef shouted into his walkie talkie. He looked at us, probably thinking we were witnesses or suspects, "You have the right to remain silent. If you choose to give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense." He grabbed Chevy's hands and put them in handcuffs. 5 more officers ran up the stairs and cuffed us all. They cuffed River's unconscious body too. River moaned in his unconsciousness, "Keep... Cinnabon... Safe..."