Hope. [COMPLETED]

Chapter Four.

Blazes POV.

I made my way to school dressed like a homeless person because I had a complete breakdown last night. I began cutting my thighs because I ran out of space on both arms.

I haven't had a nightmare for a few days now. My last one was bad. Reliving my mum's death again.

Levi has left me alone. I think he finally understands that I want to be alone and not to talk or be with anyone. Or maybe he is plotting something who knows.

I enter the school and kept my head down and ignoring the stares that I feel on me. I walk to my locker. I open it and just as I am taking a book out the locker slams shut making me move my hand at light speed. I look up and glare at the person who just nearly shut my hand in the locker. I look up into the light blue eyes of Trey the ex-boyfriend.

"Hey B. He grins at me, using the old nickname for me. "How you holding up?" I ignore him and open up my locker again.

You know them really fake friends who only use you for something. Well I wouldn't call them friends. Yeah Trey thought he was a friend because I'm the parentless child with no friends. I just don't need anyone. I have my nanna who else would I want?

"Well I saw a week ago you and Levi. Well like his really bad news." He said and carried on speaking about Levi as if I give a fuck. I shut my locker and walked away from his speaking.

When he realised I wasn't there he ran after me. "Blaze wait, just why is he speaking to you?"

"Why are you speaking to me?" I said finally getting pissed off from his existence.

His face drops but then a small smiles appear. "I just want to warn you about Levi and ask why he was speaking to you." He shrugs.

"Is it your business?" I asked, he responds by shaking his head no. "No? Good so you know not to fucking pry into other people's business. I don't know why you're here because you sit there with your little fucking twats cussing at me and now you want to know my business with someone. Just fuck off Trey. Go fuck Lexie or something, just don't bother me again." I turned around not bothering to hear his reply.

I walk to my first class and sit in the back. I place my head on the table and close my eyes. About five minutes after I heard the chair next to me scrape against the floor and a thud on it. I pry open one eye and see Levi looking at forwards with his notebook in his heads.

I must say he is pretty hot. The tattoos that go up his neck and down his arms. I wonder where else he has tattoos. I close my eyes and just think about tattoos I want.

Like I want mum written on my wrist, I want the date she was born and the date she died.

i have this picture or my nan and mum from when they were younger I want the tattooed somewhere. The picture was of my mum sitting on my nans lap in the swimsuits smiling. I love it.

I also want two hands holding pinkies like a pinky promise. Me and mum would always do those and the promises would never be broken.

She once promises she would walk me down the aisle but she can't. I hold back the tears threating to come out during the lesson. 

"Miss Knight am I interrupting your little day dreaming?" I heard the teacher ask.

"No sir." I shake my head. He nods and carries on writing shit on the board.

I fell a gaze on the side of my head so I turn and see Levi looking at me. "What?" I ask.

"You're crying." He says calmly. His nose piercing glimmering in the light. 

I lift my hand up and wipe my cheeks and oddly I am. I didn't even realise I was crying. "Thanks." I say to him and wipe the remaining of my tears.

After the bell went signalling the end of the lesson I shot out of there and ran to my locker. Levi was making me feel all flustered and all sorts of things I've never felt before.

When I reached my locker I leaned my back against it taking it deep breathes. I held a hand to my chest trying to slow down my breathing. What the fuck was that!? I think to myself.

****

It was the end of school and I was walking home when it started to pour down with rain. I groaned and sped up. I was wearing just my hoodie and it didn't have any pockets and neither did my tracksuit bottoms. I tried to keep my hands warm but pulling the sleeves past my hands and ball them in a fist but my hands were still cold. But I was used to cold hands but this was beyond cold.

Even since I could remember my feet, hands and nose would always be colder than the rest of me. My mum would always make a joke about my cold hands then I would put them down the back of her top and she would act like a 14 year old.

When I reached home I saw my nans car wasn't there and I groaned. Lovely she was probably at the care home. I really couldn't be asked to walk there. I just sat on the steps and let the rain pour down on me.

I was began thinking about my mum sitting in the rain. She would make me dance with her and we would both end up with colds with Nan looking after us and shouting at us about what we were thinking.

My mum was pretty cool. Everyone loved her because she wouldn't mind boys in the house or if I went to parties a long as I called her. She would wait up for me so she knew I got home safely. On Christmas she would run in my room screaming and shouting Christmas songs.

Some days she got on my nerves and we would argue until we lost our voices. She was my everything in this world. She was my bestfriend, even thought she was a single parent she did a hell of a job and then when she died I lost my world.

we ain't picture perfect but we worth the picture still.

- J. Cole

Who I picture Levi to look like. I haven't given anyone to play him but got the idea from Stephan James.