Poetry

Many Deaths [July 10, 2005]

Wheres the gun to blow off my head
Ill shoot myself until I'm dead
Ill put myself, six feet underground
And ill go without a peep or sound

Maybe ill get a rope of some kind
One that is strong, wont break, or unwind
Ill tie it into a knot, and hang it in a tree
Wrap it around my neck, and down comes me.

If that doesn't work, ill go somewhere high
Maybe a building, do you think I can fly?
Theres always a cliff, thats another way
Ill jump off of it, any hour, minute, or day

Rat poison, or any kind at all
Thinking of consuming it, makes my stomach roll
My heart will stop, ill lose all my breath
Only problem is, it's a slow and painful death

Heres another idea to kill me yet
Ive got it all planned, ive goI'vet all set
Ill walk on the street, and youll drive your car
Youll floor the pedal and hit me hard and far

Or help me out, and cover my face
Suffocate me or strangle me with lace
Or sit on me in a tub over-filled
Despite my struggles, hold me down till im killed

Where is the razor to slit my wrists
And endure the pain, with hard-clenched fists
Ill bleed so much, ill bleed no end
Now theres no way ill ever mend

To go into the ocean, when its wild and deadly
I don't think I can do it, I know im not rI'mdy
But I wont care, when I go out with the tide
To not go through with it, will end my suicide

Im holding my toaster, with my feet in water
Ive plugged it in, letting it get hotter and hotter
I opened my hands and down it goes
This huge, huge jolt shocked me down to my toes.

This sliced up pain, as I slit my throat
Was nothing as I watched the blood on my coat
Oh my god, theres so much blood
Its pouring down, coming down in a flood

What do you say, if I was to burn
On fire is my body, as I writhe and turn
My body is so hot, the festering heat
I gotta lay down, I know when im beat.

So I guess this is it, the time is near
The darkness calls me, can you hear?
Its either in heaven ill stay, or maybe hell
My body will rot in the place I dwell.