icicle ♡ narry christmas au [COMPLETE]

ten

"daddy!" livi screeches delightedly, wriggling her way out of ashton's lap to run to her father. his coat is cold against her cheek when she hugs him, and he smells like outside. "you left!"

"i know, angel. i'm so sorry." he scoops her up and sets her on his hip.

"i'm still mad at you," she huffs, but her fingers tangle themselves in her father's hair, almost like she has to assure himself he's really there.

"sorry," he says again, and kisses the end of her nose. "i think we need to get you back into bed, though. it's late."

"okay," livi huffs. she leans her head on his shoulder, and as he walks by ashton, he affectionately runs a hand through his brother's hair, a silent thank you. ashton just gives harry's hand a squeeze and attempts to fix his hair.

"sleep now, liv," harry coos, voice a soft song, and livi stubbornly rolls over onto her side, staring at harry with unblinking eyes.

"you're not going to leave again, right?" she asks, voice quivery.

"no, baby. i'm not going anywhere."

she knots her hand in her father's, not letting go even as she drifts off to sleep. harry has a bit of a struggle trying to tug his hand free without waking her. he manages, though, and when he goes back out to the kitchen, niall is tugging on his coat.

"you're leaving?" harry asks him, though he shouldn't be surprised.

"yeah." niall gives him a sad smile. "i just..." he shrugs loosely, and harry nods. he doesn't know what to say. 

"okay. i, uh...i'll see you around?"

niall's smile is still so sad. harry doesn't know what to do. "maybe," is all he said, and then he's out the door.

- - -

niall sits on his bed and cries when he gets home.

then he calls zayn.

- - -

harry and livi stay in bed the whole of christmas day after niall leaves. ashton is still in the apartment, and makes sure that the two of them are fed, at the very least. harry doesn't want to move, though, and livi wants to stay attached to his side. so ashton leaves them like that, checking in on them every few hours.

- - -

"i thought you never wanted to see my goddamned face ever again," zayn says by way of greeting.

"i don't," niall responds. "i just wanted to say i'm sorry."

that shocks zayn into silence for a minute. "you want to say you're sorry?"

"yes. i wanted you to love me so badly, and i said some things i shouldn't have said." niall takes a big, deep breath. this is hard for him. this is growing up. "so, zayn, i'm sorry."

"niall, i..." zayn sounds so surprised. pleased, too. "i'm sorry, too. i'm so sorry for what i said. you're so worthy of love. you're the most lovable person i've ever met."

that makes niall smile. "have a nice life, zayn."

"you, too."

he doesn't need zayn to tell him that, though. he knows.

- - -

the next day, ashton forces harry out of bed. livi follows him wherever he goes, clinging to his hand. ashton has to literally pull her away from harry so that he can take a shower.

harry's so confused. he'd never felt so strongly about anyone -- not even caroline when he'd actually been in love with her. he thought he could never love anyone as much as he loved her, and yet...

he lets out a tired sigh, rubbing livi's back as she crawls into his lap.

"santa didn't even bring me what i wanted," livi mumbles, voice muffled because her cheek is smushed against harry's chest.

"what was that?" harry asks, perking up a little. he's miserable, of course, but if there's a way to make livi's day better, he would take it.

"i wanted you and niall to be happy together," she whines. "it's my fault that you aren't!"

"no, it isn't baby. no," he says a second time, more firmly, wanting it to stick that it isn't her fault. "it's my fault."

livi just hums disbelievingly, leaning her head back against her father's chest.

"you wanna make a cake?" harry asks suddenly, randomly. he doesn't know why, but he's in a spontaneous mood. the most spontaneous thing he can do with a six-year-old is make random desserts, and that's what he wants to do.

"yes!" she cheers, both as surprised but eager as harry is.

they've just started adding sprinkles to the batter when the doorbell rings.

- - -

"hi," niall mumbles out when harry opens the door. harry has a spot of batter on his cheek and he still looks handsome as hell.

"niall," harry says back. livi trails behind him, leaning her cheek against harry's hip.

"hi, livi," niall says, and livi waves in response. "harry, i have something for you." 

"okay," harry says back. "niall, i --"

"wait." niall has to do this. he has to do it before harry says whatever he has to say. before he tells him to go. niall drops to his knees, his skirt riding up on his thighs, digging through the bag harry hadn't realized he'd brought with him. "here."

niall hands harry a stack of cds. 

"what...?" harry questions, but his lips quirk up as he flips through them. "do people still do this?"

"i do," niall laughs back, and harry's smile is so fond that it makes niall's stomach hurt.

the top cd is blank in terms of cover art, but niall wrote "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I AM JUST SO BAD WITH WORDS" on it, with various tiny drawings on them.

"they aren't all 'i love you,' playlists," niall explains shyly. "i wasn't sure what i was feeling...so some are like 'I LIKE YOU SO MUCH WHAT IS HAPPENING' and i think i even called one 'EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS BEAUTIFUL.'"

harry can't stop smiling. "you love me," he says slowly.

"how could i not?" niall says back. "i'm sorry. i had to figure some stuff out. when you said you loved me, i was so caught off guard --"

"it doesn't matter. shut up. you love me," harry says with a laugh. his hands go around niall's waist, and once he kisses him, he can't stop. livi giggles out, "ew," but in reality, she couldn't be happier. "i love you, too, by the way."

"i know," niall grins, cheeks pink from being kissed. he is so in love and is so happy to be.

and they lived happily ever after.

THE END.