Please Don't Do It || Steve Rogers

Please Don't Do It

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicide, Depression, Reader Near-Death 
If you're depressed or suicidal then, please please please ask for help. Ending your life is not worth it. You can talk to me ANYTIME, I don't bite.

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You were alone in your bedroom, laying on the bed as tears were rolling down your cheeks. You've been holding it in all day. Seeing all those people smiling an happily living made you want to die. You felt like you were drowning, expect you could see everyone else around you breathe. That's what depression felt like.

That was it for you. No one understood your pain. No one wants to help. No one.

You made your way to the bathroom, making sure to stop by the mirror, wanting to take one last look at yourself. You hated what you became, you used to be such a happy person, but now it was too late. That joy and desire to live you used to carry has been robbed from you. But then Steve came, and for a while, everything seemed to be better... but it didn't last, unfortunatly. Not wanting him to abandon you, you never told your lover about your depression. You felt like you were a burden to him, and expressing to him how you felt would just add more weight on his shoulder. You didn't feel like you mattered.

But what you didn't know, is none of that was true, you did matter. You did have people who cared about you, you just needed to be brave enough to ask for help, because you deserved someone to be there for you, and help you get through those difficulties. But it didn't really matter anymore now, did it?

Sighing for what would maybe be the last time, you opened the cap of the bottle, pourring a part of its content in your hand. Ready to swallow the pills, you shakingly brought the pills close to your mouth when you heard a familiar voice shout.

"Don't do it, please don't do it (Y/N) ." No, you told yourself, what is he doing doing here?

"Baby, please don't do it. I can't lose you too. Please just put those pills down, love." He gently whispered.

"You don't get it Steve, you just don't. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep putting a fake smile on my face and pretend I'm okay when I'm not. I can't live with those people who pretend to be my friends while they actually hate me. This world is cruel and I can't live in it anymore. You can't understand my pain, no one can Steven. You're better off without me, you'll find someone better, there's so many pretty girls out there who would kill to be with you. Please just let me die Steve."

You whispered the last sentence, not finding enough strengh to use your voice. Steve was fighting back his own tears, blaming himself for not noticing sooner, all the signs were there, if only he just paid more attention to you.

"(Y/N) Look at me." At first you ignored him, feeling too ashamed to face him. "Baby, hey, look at me. You don't have to pretend anymore, okay? From now on, I want you to be honest with me. I want to help you fight this, I want to help you. Do you know why? Because I love you, because you're the only one I want, those other girls mean nothing to me. (Y/N) please, just let me spend the rest of my life showing you how important you are to me."

 As he went on with his speech, he slowly took the pills from your hands, and hid them in his pockets, you didn't take any actions to try to stop him. You were just exhausted, all you wanted was someone to hold you and tell you everything would be okay.

Steve wrapped his arms around your fragile body. He then tightened his grip around you, never wanting to witness an event like this ever again.

"Please don't let me go..." You desperately asked as you wrapped your arms around his neck, starting to sob once again.

He kissed your hair and your forehead multiple times as you both sat down on the floor.

"I'm not letting you go anywhere, baby. Everything will be okay.  We'll get through this together love, we'll get trough this together." 

You weren't alone anymore, everything was finally going to get better.